Should You Choose to Be a Tiger Parent

tiger parent unhappy with the child's academic score

The birth of a child is also the birth of the parents. The bond they share is special; however, different methods of parenting can affect it to a great extent. Some parents choose a strict method of upbringing, while some are patient and lenient. In this article, we shall discuss a form of stringent parenting, called “Tiger Parenting” and its effects on kids. Let’s dive into the topic and know what tiger parenting is.

What Is Tiger Parenting and How Does It Work?

Tiger parenting is a debatable method of parenting as it uses harsh methods to control children. It is a form of strict and demanding parenting. When parents use methods of fear and authority to make their children comply with their demands, they are referred to as tiger parents. This method is based on the Asian values of independence and stressed on creating a committed relationship between parents and children.

In tiger parenting, parents put high expectations on their children to meet their academic needs and often rely on harsh methods to drive them towards their goals. Tiger moms and dads have a strong belief that strict measures are needed to make their children tough, confident, successful, and prepare them for the future.

How Does Tiger Parenting Differ From Other Parenting Styles?

Tiger parenting is derived from authoritarian parenting, but it not quite the same. As with authoritarian parenting, tiger parenting involves following a strict set of rules and regulations and setting high expectations for children, but it also includes some level of positive parenting. Therefore, tiger parents also go a long way to protect their children from any obstacles and provide them with every kind of warmth and support. Thus, tiger parenting involves both control and affection.

Signs That You Are a Tiger Parent

While you are wondering about your method of parenting, there are a few signs that can help you figure out if you are a tiger parent or not.

You are a tiger mom/dad if:

  • You do not allow your children to hang out with their friends more, or have sleepovers.
  • You expect your children to secure the first grade in all their exams and often include harsh punishments if they fail to do so.
  • You care more about your standards than their love for any handmade gifts and want them to be the best in everything they do.
  • You care more about what they achieve rather than how they achieve and value your self-esteem more than their capabilities.
  • Your child is scared of telling things to you for the fear that you might rebuke them if you do not like the idea or situation.
  • You don’t trust them with most things, and keep on reminding and ordering them.
  • You rely more on following rules and regulations, rather than keeping your children happy. You always feel that the rules should not be broken at any cost.
  • Your children follow a rigid routine of more work and less play; they do not invite their friends over as they are scared of your authoritative nature.

These are some of the signs of a tiger parent. Let’s take a look at the pros and cons of this style of parenting.

Pros of Tiger Parenting

While Tiger parenting might seem strict and a little bit harsh on the children, researchers have found potential benefits of tiger parenting. Some of the pros of having tiger parents are:

  • Tiger parenting rules tend to encourage the skills of self-discipline in children. By following constant rules and orders around, children tend to understand the importance of having a disciplined life and inculcate self-discipline.
  • Although there is a constant fear of punishments, children reveal their true potentials and learn to be the best to achieve success in their lives.
  • Tiger parents shape their children to be responsible even though they use harsh methods to teach children.
  • Tiger parents’ goal is to shape their children into happy, successful, and well-adjusted adults, which results in children being goal-oriented and focussed.

Cons of Tiger Parenting

Though parents always wish the best for their children, tiger parenting has some cons that one must remember. It can have some adverse effects, such as the ones given below, on the upbringing of the children.

  • As the parents believe in setting high expectations in their children, the children feel overburdened and pressurised.
  • The children are always scared of making mistakes as the tiger mother or father can use harsh methods as punishments for the mistakes.
  • Living in constant fear may give rise to anxiety and depressions in such children.
  • The fear of perfectionism hinders growth in children.
  • In tiger parenting, the children always live under their parents’ constant guidance. It may lead them to be more dependent on others and develop poor coping skills.
  • Tiger parenting results in negative cognitive and emotional development in some cases.
  • Tiger parenting rules hinder children’s creativity and growth as they are told to follow the rules and regulations strictly.

What Does Research Say About Effects of Tiger Parenting on Children?

Research shows that tiger parenting is not the best parenting style. Parents must adopt supportive parenting when raising kids.

A study conducted on 444 Chinese-American families infers that parenting types are divided into four categories based on eight traits – four positive and four negative. While positive traits refer to love, warmth, etc., the negative traits relate to fear and pressure required for motivating them. The tiger method of parenting scored high on all the eight traits while the supportive parenting scored high on the positive traits only.

Most parents turned out to be supportive, and that challenged the stereotype that Asian-American parents are majorly tiger parents. While tiger parenting may have some pros as well as some cons, it is believed to be a non-good method of parenting for children.

The research concludes that the best way of parenting is not tiger parenting but supportive parenting. It helps children become more social and confident. Children with supportive parents are likely to get up again after experiencing failure than those raised by tiger parents.

Although development in children is based on their environment, schools, peers, and their friends, parents play a key role in shaping their behaviours as well as characters. Parenting methods can be best chosen to ensure they do not hinder growth and development in children. Therefore, a wise mix of supportive and tiger parenting methods, with more emphasis on being warm and caring towards children, can help raise happy and successful kids.

Also Read:

Authoritarian Parenting
Permissive Parenting
Attachment Parenting

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