Positive Attention and Your Child

Paying positive attention to your child will have a better impact on her as compared to disciplining her when she grows up. Timely and constructive attention is important for your toddler’s holistic growth. Learn how to master the art of staying positive with your child.

Don’t touch that!”, “Do you want time out?”, “Do you want me to starting counting to 5?” These are the regular lines a child hears when in close quarters with his parents. And it probably has the desired effect. But is it a desired conversation that should take place between a parent and child?

The pressure on parents is immense- to set an example and do and say the right things, even as a set of eyes are prying on their moves and words every day. Crunched for time and often trying to provide the best material comforts for their children, parents can get busy multitasking between home and work, and forget the very basics of a parent-child relationship. Positive gestures such as hugs and cuddles, a ‘good job’ pat, a splash in the puddle and playing silly games are probably the things your children will appreciate and remember as they grow up. More importantly, the attention lavished on them will do wonders for the way their behaviour shapes up.

Ways of Showing Positive Attention

• Smile at the child – there doesn’t have to be a reason. Just smile as you pass by, and catch her eye.
• Caring facial expressions – pay attention to your facial expressions when you are with her. She is watching and picking up cues too
• Engage in her activities – speak to her about what she is doing and converse with her. Give inputs where required and commend her work when she makes any efforts.
• Physical actions – if you want to induce positive behaviour in her, beating her or punishing her may send out contrary signals to her. So, handle her gently so that she does the same in turn.

Impact of Positive Attention

• Your child’s self-confidence: Positive attention to the child will work wonders to boost her self-confidence. Being told that she is good at something by people she cares including you and your partner, your immediate family members and friends will develop a sense of pride in herself.
• Security and safety: Constant interaction with parents instills a sense of security in every child. And a secure child is far more content. It is in times of uncertainty or lack of connect that the child’s insecurity manifests itself as aggression and cranky behaviour.
• Showing positive attention to make negative consequences relevant: A child will begin to understand the relevance of time-out when they see and value the time-in. Spend quality time with your little one to show them what they will miss out on.

Best Methods to Provide Positive Attention:

Devise your own methods of paying positive attention to your child. Try and find a park in the vicinity that you can go to – the walk to the park and back can also be a fun experience. Watering the plants daily can be a great way to connect with your child. A board game, setting out the meal table for the meal time are some options to explore. Try and avoid designing this time around technology.

Paying positive attention to your child can be as therapeutic for parents as it is for the child. Remember that creating a positive environment and building a relationship with your child has a lot to do with spending quality time with him/her. Being positive during this phase will also train you to inculcate it as a parenting skill and help you build a strong bond with your child.