How to Deal With a Spoiled Child

Raising kids is one of the most challenging tasks. You want to give the best of the best to your child and shower him with love, but at times, your unconditional love of parents can spoil your child. If you’ve got a child who tends to throw tantrums for small things or when his demands aren’t met, chances are you have got a spoiled child or a spoiled brat. A child whose attitude and behaviour is difficult, then it can’t be changed overnight. If your child is spoiled, then you need to first figure out what the signs are and which approach works best while dealing with the kid.

Who Is a Spoiled Child?

Has your child been throwing too many tantrums lately? Maybe he or she has been whining way too much, and if you don’t adhere to the child’s demands, hell breaks loose. Naughty children are fun and cute, but there’s only so much a parent or any adult can put up with. Such difficult children are called spoiled children. Let’s quickly check the spoiled brat meaning for a better understanding.

A child is not born spoiled, but if his demands are always met and he has never heard ‘no’ for things, he may become spoiled. A spoiled child is a term used to define children who exhibit behavioural issues which arise because they are overindulged by their parents and caregivers.

Reasons Why Children May Become Spoiled

Your child will become the way you raise him to be. So, if your child has turned into a spoiled brat, there could be various reasons for the same. As parents and caregivers, your upbringing will play a big role in the behaviour of a child. Here are a few reasons that could be the causal factors of your child being spoiled (1) (2):

1. Pampering

“I WANT IT, AND I WANT IT NOW!!’ – If your child says this often and you give in to their demands easily, then your child may become spoiled without you even realising it. Giving your child everything he asks for immediately gives the child an impression that you are entitled to fulfil your child’s demands all the time. If this habit continues, the child becomes spoiled and does not express gratitude for the things that you do for them. Unearned gifts can also have negative effects on the child’s attitude and behaviour.

2. Compensating Parents

Children are materialistic, but if your child’s entire world revolves around ‘materialistic things’, then something doesn’t really add up. Most parents today are usually caught up with work, so they may make up for lost quality time with their kids by giving them materialistic goodies, often making children materialistic. Many parents give their kids money without even teaching them how to save, which can work against the parents when the kids demand more money and start thinking they should get whatever, whenever and however. Giving your child financial liberty is one of the first and biggest reasons why a child may become spoiled.

3. Friend Circle

The kind of friends your child hangs out with can be one of the reasons for him to get spoiled. Children are highly impressionable, and if your child’s friends are spoiled too, there is a chance that your child will watch and learn from them. Sometimes, kids may behave like their friends to fit in, and at other times, they may do so, thinking if their friends can get what they want, why not them? Peer influence can be either good or bad. In case a child is influenced by kids his age who happen to be spoiled and believe in showing off new things they have received, it may influence the child, and he may demand the same.

4. Overprotective Parents

Overprotective parents tend to spoil their children. If you’ve been throwing too many restrictions on your child, chances are that he will rebel and turn out to be a spoiled brat. Kids who are controlled and restricted too much will develop an unhealthy attitude owing to all that pent-up frustration and anger.

5. Using Physical Violence

Physical violence is a strict no when dealing with kids, and this is something that you should remember at all times, especially on those days when your little one is troubling you. Hurting a child physically will give your child the idea that they can hit others, and it’s okay to do so. It will also result in your child harbouring a lot of negativity and frustration. If you tend to use physical punishment often, your child may become rebellious and stop coming to you in case he does something wrong or if he needs your help with something.

6. Pliable Parents

Saying ‘yes’ to your child for everything they ask for is a strict no. A lot of parents give in to their child’s demands because who would want to deal with the tantrums of their child. But if you keep doing this, your child will become a spoiled brat.

7. Poor Manners

Not inculcating good manners and basic courtesy is another reason why a child may become spoiled.

Signs You’re Raising a Spoiled Brat

The signs of a spoiled child mentioned below will help you understand if you’re raising a spoiled child. But remember, it’s never too late. You should always try to instil good manners in your child.

1. Your child is disrespectful.

When you child does not show any respect to you or other adults in your family, chances are that he is spoiled.

2. Your child does not help others.

If your child refuses to help you, even if you ask for a hand, it could be a sign that they are turning into a spoiled brat.

3. Your child is always unsatisfied.

No matter what you give to your child, if it is never enough for him, then he could be spoiled.

4. Your child is possessive about the things he owns.

If your child doesn’t believe in sharing his things with others, then you should know that your child may be a spoiled brat. It’s okay for kids to get possessive about their toys or food once in a while, but if the child does this every time, then the child really needs some lessons on kindness and sharing.

5. Your child is rude to others.

When your child blatantly ignores you when you’re talking or when others are asking him to do something, it could be a sign of rudeness. Rude behaviour is another characteristic of a spoiled brat.

6. Your child is ungrateful.

If your child shows no gratitude or appreciation, it could be because he is spoiled.

7. Your child is manipulative.

If your child makes up elaborate lies to gain something without putting in the requisite effort, he could be spoiled. For example, saying he finished his homework just so that he can go out and play.

8. Your child always throws temper tantrums.

If your child always throws a tantrum for things he doesn’t get or for things that are not going his way and then throws a temper tantrum, then it is an indicator of a spoiled child.

Effects of Spoiling a Child

It is completely understandable that, as a parent, you want to give your child the world. But you need to know that sometimes, this can work against you, as well as your child. If you’re spoiling your child, you need to stop because if you don’t, here’s what may happen:

• The child will turn out to be disrespectful to everyone around him.
• He may find it hard to deal with relationships.
• He may become lazy.
• Your child may become materialistic.
• He may find it hard to work in a group.
• He may have difficulty in creating and maintaining friendships and real connections with surrounding people.
• He may pick unnecessary fights and arguments with people who don’t match his opinion.

Nobody likes spoiled kids, and when these kids turn out to be spoiled adults, it’s a different thing altogether.

How Can You Deal With Spoiled Children?

Want to learn how to fix a spoiled child? If your child is spoiled, you need to deal with your child with an approach that is helpful. Here’s how not to spoil a child:

1. Affirmation

Make sure your child understands that no one likes a spoiled child. That’s the first thing you can do.

2. Be Positive

Try positive reinforcements instead of negatives. Be kind and gentle, and your child will learn from you.

3. Make Rules

Set down house rules, and make sure your child follows them. If the child doesn’t, make sure there are consequences that will have to be faced.

4. Keep Your Composure

Make sure your emotions are not all over the place. Put up a calm front when dealing with your child.

5. Acknowledge Good Things

Make sure you acknowledge their good behaviour, too. If bad behaviour needs punishment, then good behaviour needs rewards, as well. This will encourage your child to be a better person.

6. Say No

Learn to say ‘no’ when you absolutely must.

7. No Materialism

Stop giving your child materialistic goods in place of quality time and love.

8. Overprotectiveness

Don’t be overly restrictive and overprotective with your child.

9. Controlling Emotions

Teach your child self-regulation.

10. Use Distractions

Instead of going all hot lava on your child, take a beat, calm yourself down and use distractions as means to engage them in something useful.

11. Set a Routine

Bring a routine or some rules that every member follows. Once your child sees you following the routine and staying disciplined, they will follow the same.

12. Correct Their Habits and Manners

Correction of their behaviour and manners is very important but do it gently. Early correction can stop them from ging on that pathway and avoid building a bad habit.

13. Teach Them Savings

If your little one always throws tantrums outside any shop or an outlet, they need to learn to value money. Teach them about the value of money and how savings are done.

14. Disappointment

Let your child have a fair share of facing disappointment. If they are developing of throwing tantrums at a public place knowing you will remedy the situation by giving in to the demands, then let them face some disappointment

15. Teach Them Teamwork

Teaching the spoiled children teamwork will help them understand the importance and value of individuals.

FAQs

1. What is a spoiled child syndrome?

Spoiled child syndrome appears in children whose parents fail to instil good behaviours and age-appropriate limitations, which result in children counter talking, backlashing, abusing, and becoming egocentric. This syndrome makes the spoiled children not get along easily with other individuals because of their manners and behaviour.

2. Why are spoiled brats or spoiled children appear unhappy?

Spoiled children often display unlikeable behaviour, like teasing, bullying, fighting, and other rude and selfish behaviour. As the society is against these behaviours, they disapprove such behaviour and stay away from people exhibiting such behaviour. This leads to the distance between spoiled children and other individuals.

3. How to deal with the backlash from the spoiled child while you are setting limits and boundaries?

It is evident to encounter resistance from spoiled children when you set limits and boundaries in front of them. It is natural. However, parents can affirm to their stand, consistently apply the rules and routine, be calm and patient, and positively reinforce good behaviour at home. When children will see a change in their environment and their parents behaviour, they, too, will start mimicking the same. This is the reason parents are called the first role models for children.

You may not find it easy to mend your child’s behaviour, but you should try before it gets too late. Children are not easy to handle, especially if they are spoiled, but with a lot of patience and understanding, you can handle your child and, in fact, teach him to behave nicely.

References/Resources:

1. 10 Signs You Are Raising A Spoilt Child; King’s Christian College; https://blog.kingscollege.qld.edu.au/10-signs-you-are-raising-a-spoilt-child

2. Mcintosh. B. J; Spoiled Child Syndrome; Pediatrics; https://oikosistemata.yolasite.com/resources/ped-83-108-mcintosh-1989-spoilchildsynd.pdf; 1989

Also Read:

How to Handle Difficult Kids
How to Deal with a Stubborn Child?
Tips for Parents to Handle Naughty Kids
Effective Tips to Deal With a Defiant Child