Busting Blues: Dealing with your Depressed Spouse
Watching your beloved suffer bouts of depression can take a toll on your marriage and how you view your partner. How to deal with a spouse with depression then? Quit feeling helpless watching from the sidelines, as there are things that you can do to help!
Dealing with your partner who’s feeling low can put a dark cloud over your happy married life. While you hate having to watch your depressed partner suffer silently, you know that living this way is bound to have its affect on you too. Experts have suggested several ways in which you can help your partner get out of this phase. But before you reach out to help him, you need to put on your oxygen mask first! Here’s what you can do to make life better for the benefit of both of you.
Handy ‘Living with a Depressed Spouse’ Tips You Ought to Remember
1. Understanding The Problem
You have a happy married life that is financially secure. You love your job and your kids are a source of joy for the two of you. Yet you find yourself coping with a depressed spouse. For the life of you, you can’t understand what went wrong? Doctors suggest that depression is caused by a change in the secretion level of the “happy-hormone” serotonin. So don’t blame yourself for your partner’s condition, it could be genetic for all we know!
2. Arms Wide Open
if you find yourself wondering how to support a depressed spouse, the first step would be to show receptivity. Encourage them to talk about things especially what they are thinking or feeling. It could happen that they say things to you that can freak you out and make you question your marriage and life with him. But this is the time to exercise patience and not pass any judgement yet! You’re walking on eggshells remember!
3. Choose Your Side
After listening to the emotional outburst of your partner you might have difficulty thinking of it as an illness. But helping a spouse with depression also means that you have to continuously remind yourself that it’s not your partner, but the illness talking! Depression is your enemy. Work together through the treatment rather than letting the changes any illness begets drift you apart.
4. Quit Being Hard on Yourself
There will be many instances when you will not understand what to do when your spouse is depressed. You’re bound to fear that you’re someway triggering their outbursts and not being of any help at all. That isn’t the case and you must believe that well enough. Your depressed spouse is already going through enough emotional turmoil for the two of you to tackle, so don’t be hard on yourself. Don’t start blaming or criticising yourself and add to the mayhem. Save yourself from such an attitude if you want to save the marriage!
5. Working as a Team
Remember that dealing with depression requires working as a team. It’s your job to ensure that your partner undergoes proper treatment. Don’t chastise or nag him for not taking his medications timely or skipping appointments. In such times, remind yourself that hopelessness is a big side effect of depression. You have to spread light and not cast dark shadows of negativity, while your partner struggles to smile.
The only thing really depressing about depression is when you let it tear your marriage apart. But when you learn how to deal with a spouse with depression you will find that the hardships and trials have only managed to bring you closer. Your marriage is much stronger having weathered through this rough patch. As a partner standing by him and holding his hand to show him the right way will only sweeten the bond you share.