#asktheexperts my kid is beating and scratching everybody, what can be the reason and how to stop it.

Question

Accepted Answer

It's common for young children, particularly toddlers, to express themselves physically through behaviors like hitting, scratching, or biting. However, it can be concerning if the behavior seems excessive. There are several possible reasons for this behavior:

Possible Reasons for Hitting and Scratching:

1. Frustration or Anger: Young children are still learning how to communicate their emotions effectively. If your child is frustrated, they might lash out physically because they don't yet have the words to express their feelings.

2. Attention-Seeking: Sometimes, children may hit or scratch to get attention, especially if they notice that these actions lead to a reaction from adults or other children.

3. Imitation: Children often mimic the behavior they see. If they observe aggressive behavior, either from adults or peers, they might start copying it.

4. Overstimulation or Tiredness: When children are overstimulated or overly tired, they may struggle to regulate their emotions and impulses, leading to physical outbursts.

5. Developmental Phase: Some children go through phases of increased physical behavior as part of their normal development. As they gain more control over their bodies, they might engage in physical actions while exploring their limits.

How to Address the Behavior:

1. Set Clear Boundaries: Calmly explain to your child that hitting and scratching are not acceptable. Use simple, clear language like “We don’t hurt others” or “Hands are for hugging, not hitting.”

2. Redirect Attention: When your child becomes frustrated or angry, try to distract them with a different activity. Offer a toy, a calming activity, or change the environment if needed.

3. Model Positive Behavior: Show your child how to express emotions in a non-violent way. For instance, teach them to use words to express feelings like “I’m mad” instead of acting out physically.

4. Positive Reinforcement: Praise and reward your child when they handle situations calmly or express their emotions in a positive way. Positive reinforcement can encourage them to repeat those behaviors.

5. Provide Plenty of Physical Activity: Make sure your child has enough opportunities for physical play to release energy in a positive way. Activities like running, jumping, and playing with other children can help reduce pent-up energy.

6. Stay Calm: It’s important to remain calm when your child hits or scratches. Reacting with anger may escalate the situation, while staying calm shows your child how to handle conflict with self-control.

7. Check for Underlying Issues: If the behavior persists or worsens, it might be helpful to consult with a pediatrician or child psychologist to rule out any underlying emotional or developmental concerns.

Sources:

American Academy of Pediatrics

Zero to Three – Handling Aggressive Behavior