#asktheexperts
How to control our anger when child annoying you .?

Question

#asktheexperts 
How to control our anger when child annoying you .?

Accepted Answer

Babies cry for various reason, like when they are hungry, bored, hot or cold temperatures, dirty diaper, uncomfortable clothing, hair around toe, gassy pain, mosquito bites etc.
Try to soothe baby accordingly figuring out the cause.
Keep a cool and calm environment at night and keep lights and noise level low. Dont talk or interact with baby when he wakes up at night. Keep day time well lit and play or do lot of activities.
Baby could be having teething pain. So try to give a gentle massage to baby's gums with a soft cotton cloth or finger brush. Give a chilled teether or washcloth for relief from teething pain.
The only way is to have patience. Research and practice Gentle Parenting. Keep communicating constantly with your child and help him to express his emotions. Dont be aggressive or commanding as kids cannot control their emotions. Always speak calmly and make everything a fun game. Keep kid active atleast 3 to 5 hours in a day and other times involve them in activities such as play doh clay, building blocks like Lego, magnetic shapes, colouring, read board books loudly and listen and repeat sound books.

Answer

only smiling.... deep breathing

Answer

a

Answer

A toddler's brain is not developed sufficiently for impulse-control or self-regulation. So she can't always control her behavior or redirect herself even when she knows/understands consciously that she should -- even many adults can't. Explanations and reminders aren't enough to stop your child from hitting because a lack of understanding that hitting is wrong is NOT the problem; it's a lack of self-control.

The more anxious the hitting makes you, the more you talk about it and the more attention you call to it, the harder it'd be for your child to stop hitting. Block her, hold back big reactions, acknowledge her feelings, listen and move on. Again, the goal of acknowledging isn't to elicit desired behavior; it's to listen, support, be there for her when she's going through a difficult time, and make it safe for her to process/offload her feelings.

Remind yourself that a child that hits is not a bad/aggressive adult in the making. Kids hit because they lack self-control and the skills to manage their emotions. With age, maturity, skills and caregivers who model desired behaviors, your child will learn to express herself more constructively.

Think about helping someone with a broken leg walk. Would reminders and explanations help? No, because that'd be expecting them to do something that they aren't ABLE to. You'd be wiser to offer them a crutch instead until they're ready to walk without support.

I'd say stop expecting your child to do better and it'd then be easier for you to bring your presence in a way that's constructive and helpful. Gentle limits are firm yet polite, and take a child's perspective and developmental limitations into account.

Gentle limits CONNECT. Fear disconnects. Choose your words and responses wisely. Follow GentleparentingIndia group on FB.
When you lay boundaries, if the boundary comes with curbing the behaviour, it may give rise to a protest in the form of mild aggression because of lack of better tools to communicate. Instead, if you mould the boundary to offer an alternative opportunity to continue with exploration either during or outside of the given ongoing task , the need is met.

" Food is not for throwing " is great but it's an instruction. If you change it to "Food is to eat, ball is to throw. Here, try throwing this" after you've acknowledged the child's need by saying "you're wondering what happens if you throw that aren't you?" you end up appealing to the child's right brain which feels soothed,and connected.

Behaviour is communication, and always look beneath it..

It may take a few repetitions because that's how any brain learns to remember. But each repetition may have to be of the same format and design. If you're upset one day and gentle another, you're confusing him. So consistently reinforcing in the same manner matters.

#asktheexperts How to control our anger when child annoying you .?