My Postpartum Depression Experience

I am the mother of two children. A four-year-old girl and a baby boy who is five months old. My four-year-old girl excelled in school until I went into labour. With the pregnant bump, I assisted her with online classes, post-class study, and homework during the epidemic. She was up to speed and very engaged in the school’s learnings. She excelled in extracurricular activities as well. She used to try doing things even though she didn’t know how to perform or sing. When I went into labour, she was left alone with her aunt for days. She was separated from me for the first time since birth. 
She couldn’t wait to see the young kid again. She was overjoyed at the teeny-tiny world she had discovered after the outbreak. However, things began to shift gradually. She was not permitted to contact the baby anymore frequently. Since then, she hasn’t received any attention from me. A daughter who had been pampered with attention for the previous four years was left alone to sleep and eat. She considered how the small kid had received all of my love and attention. She began to anger me by pleading for attention in every manner possible. Day by day, she grew irritated. The four walls and four faces never contained her tantrums.
I am the one who went through post-delivery issues couldn’t handle the girl. I used to shout at her at times. Estrogen and progesterone levels kept the mood swings and anger to the peak. Not knowing what to do, I thought that a change of place could make a difference in the girl’s attitude. She never sang again. She never learnt a song again. She never danced or showed no interest in writing alphabets or numbers.
My mind was overwhelmed by depression. Anger, melancholy, and mood swings are all influenced by severe anxiety. For me, a minor issue appeared to be a tsunami. Nobody understands the mental storm that is raging through my mind and head. At times, I couldn’t control myself and needed someone to listen to me.
I had to settle down with my girl and control my thoughts finally. She gradually tried to acclimatise. She realised that her sibling was her child. She was the only person who could understand my difficulties. We might spend our lonely times together. I made it clear to her that they are equally important to me. I forced the younger one to sleep with her, touch her, and put the baby to sleep. I became less irritated as a result of what I accomplished. I was as thrilled as she was.
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