#asktheexpert hi my 1 year 9month old girl is very cranky and stubborn sometime

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At 1 year and 9 months, it's quite common for toddlers to become cranky and stubborn as they begin asserting their independence and testing boundaries. This is a normal part of development as they try to communicate their needs and desires, but they don't yet have the full language skills to express themselves effectively. Here are a few tips to help manage and cope with this behavior:

1. Establish Routines: Toddlers thrive on consistency. Having a predictable routine for meals, naps, and bedtime can help reduce frustration and give your child a sense of security. When they know what to expect, it can make transitions easier.

2. Offer Choices: A toddler's desire to be independent can sometimes manifest as stubbornness. To give her a sense of control without undermining authority, offer simple choices, like, "Do you want the red or the blue cup?" This allows her to feel empowered while still staying within boundaries.

3. Stay Calm and Patient: When your child is cranky or stubborn, try to stay calm and avoid reacting with frustration. Toddlers are very sensitive to their parents' emotions. If you stay patient and calm, she may feel more settled and safe, which can help ease her distress.

4. Acknowledge Her Feelings: Sometimes, acknowledging how she feels can help her feel understood. For example, "I know you're upset because you want to play more, but it's time to clean up now." This helps her learn to label emotions and understand that it's okay to feel frustrated.

5. Positive Reinforcement: Praise and encourage good behavior. When she listens or makes good choices, offer positive reinforcement with words like, "I'm so proud of you for listening!" This helps her understand the connection between positive behavior and rewards.

6. Distraction and Redirection: If she’s cranky or throwing a tantrum, try redirecting her attention to something else. Offering a toy, a different activity, or a new place to explore can help shift her mood.

7. Ensure Basic Needs Are Met: Sometimes, crankiness and stubbornness can be a sign of unmet needs like hunger, tiredness, or discomfort. Make sure she’s getting enough sleep, food, and time to play.

Understanding that these behaviors are a phase of her development will help you navigate these challenging moments. The key is to be consistent, patient, and offer support as she learns to regulate her emotions.