Manners And Responsibility
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6 Expert-Recommended Ways to Develop Self Control in Kids
In collaboration with Nestlé Start Healthy Stay Healthy.
Have you heard of the marshmallow experiment conducted in the 1960s by social psychologist and university professor, Dr. Walter Mischel? In this experiment, a 4-year-old child was made to sit in front of a table in a laboratory. On this table was a plate with a marshmallow. The child was told that they could eat the lone marshmallow on their plate at the moment, or they could wait as Dr. Mischel left the room and did some work. And when he came back, if the marshmallow was left untouched, then the child could have an extra marshmallow. At the end of the research, it was found that self-control in this experiment predicted, among many other factors, the high school and career success of the kids in the experiment.
If this was your 4-year-old, what would he do? Would he eat the marshmallow, or wait? Before we delve deeper into this, let’s understand what self-control is.
What Is Self-Control?
Self-control is part of the group of skills (Executive Functions) that allows children and adults to manage their actions, emotions, and thoughts to get something done. In short, it is the ability to pause and think before taking action. Waiting in a line, sitting still, and taking turns — these actions require self-control in ways that may seem simple. But, in reality, self-control is a much more complex skill that develops over a period of time. Children start building self-control when they’re very young and continue developing it into their 20s.
As children get older, they develop self-control in three areas:
Impulse control
Movement control, and
Emotional control
Having self-control is important in all areas of life. But, it’s more important when it comes to socialising, especially for kids.
Why Is Self-Control Important?
Self-control is a long-standing challenge and one that is beneficial if established at an early age. Dr. Walter Mischel found that the children who displayed considerable amounts of self-control at even four years of age went on to do better at academics, were more popular with their classmates and teachers, and were highly successful in their careers as adults. Self-control also leads to good choices, which are the building blocks of self-esteem.
How to Develop Self-Control in Your Child
Here are six key ways to building your child’s self-control, which you can begin right away.
1. Create a routine or schedule.
Create a fixed schedule for each day, so that your child gets used to the routine. When he knows what he’s supposed to be doing, he will be less likely to get distracted by other activities. You can establish a morning and bedtime routine, and help your child learn to follow it independently. For an older child, assign suitable household chores, and make it his responsibility to remember to complete them.
2. Be an example.
Remember that your child is observing and imitating everything you do. So, if you lack self-control, your little one will learn from you and behave accordingly. When he sees you spend too much time in front of screens, eat junk food, or do anything else that may be considered a poor example, he’ll assume it is okay for him to do it, too.
3. Ensure your child eats a balanced diet.
Yes, a balanced diet plays an important role in your child’s mental and socio-emotional development. The importance of good nutrition is often underestimated when it comes to mental development. The right nutrients, along with the right stimulus, are known to enhance a child’s learning abilities. So, ensure your child eats healthy, as this will improve his executive functions (which includes self-control) that are important for him to navigate life.
4. Praise good behaviour.
Most of the time, good behaviour goes unnoticed. It’s important to praise your child and provide positive attention whenever he shows self-control. Point out the good behaviour that you would want to see from him more often. Also, don’t forget to praise your child when he does something without any reminder!
5. Enforce limits.
One way your child can learn about self-control is to experience what happens when he does not exercise his self-control. If your child does not respond to you or his peers appropriately, he needs to understand that he should have thought about his alternatives before acting. In this way, he would have had a better chance to make a good choice. A loss of privilege or a timeout will help your child learn that exercising self-control and thus making a respectful choice is always the best option.
6. Play games that require self-control.
Games like ‘Freeze Dance,’ ‘Red Light, Green Light,’ ‘Simon Says,’ and ‘Follow My Clap’ require a child to listen to certain patterns or instructions or patterns, follow them, and make changes accordingly. You can try these games with your little one and have some fun while he learns the value of self-control.
Do understand that self-control doesn’t come naturally to kids. But, by helping them understand how to keep their behaviour in check, you can make it much easier for them to control their impulses and handle their emotions in a better way. And this can improve self-esteem in the long run!
In case of any further questions and clarifications regarding your child’s development, health, and nutrition, do get in touch with your paediatrician.
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15+ Essential Life Lessons for Kids
Every parent wants to see their kid flourish and become successful in life. However, it is not easy to survive in today’s challenging times. Parents must prepare their kids to effectively deal with all the struggles, failures and conflicts that life may throw at them. Parents can use their own valuable experience and knowledge to impart some noteworthy life lessons to their kids so that they may become fully capable of managing their affairs with confidence, even without the active support of parents later on in life. In this article, we have curated an extensive list of life lessons for kids that are quintessential to making your child strong and resilient for their future ordeals.
What Are Life Lessons?
Life lessons are invaluable insights and wisdom gained through personal experiences, observations, and reflections. They encompass the lessons we acquire while navigating various situations, confronting challenges, making choices, and interacting with others. Life lessons arise from positive and negative experiences, shaping our perspectives, values, and behaviours. They contribute to personal growth, facilitating an understanding of our strengths, weaknesses, and areas for improvement.
Moreover, life lessons enhance our ability to encounter setbacks, failures, and hardships by teaching us the capacity to rebound from adversity, instilling the belief that setbacks are not permanent, and providing us with the strength to persevere. These lessons foster empathy and compassion as they involve interactions with others, granting us greater insight into their struggles and emotions. Life lessons influence our values and priorities, guiding us to reassess what truly matters in life and align our choices with our principles and goals.
Video: 10 Important Life Lessons to Teach Kids
Why You Should Teach?
Life’s lessons are valuable observations and wisdom to acquire in life. We can learn from navigating different situations, facing challenges, and interacting with others. The life lessons from good and bad experiences are often formative to our attitudes and values. To begin with, children need to learn about life lessons:
Personal Growth: Life lessons contribute to personal growth by providing opportunities to learn and develop as individuals. They can help us understand our strengths, weaknesses, and areas for improvement.
Self-Awareness: Life lessons enable us to understand ourselves better, our emotions, and our motivations. They help us identify patterns in our thoughts and behaviours, increasing self-awareness.
Resilience: Experiencing setbacks, failures, and hardships can teach us resilience and the ability to bounce back from challenging situations. Life lessons show us that setbacks are not permanent and give us the strength to persevere.
Empathy and Compassion: Life lessons often involve interactions with others and can teach us empathy and compassion. Through our own experiences, we can gain a greater understanding of the struggles and emotions of others, fostering a more compassionate outlook.
Values and Priorities: Life lessons can shape our values and help us determine what is truly important. They prompt us to reassess our priorities, guiding us to make choices aligned with our principles and goals.
Gratitude: Life lessons often highlight the importance of gratitude and appreciating the present moment. They teach us to recognise the blessings in our lives and be grateful for our opportunities.
Important Life Lessons to Teach Kids
Teaching children life lessons may be necessary to make them strong and help them face the world well. Some suitable life lessons for kids can be:
1. Honesty
An ideal way to teach honesty to your child may be through the example of personal behaviour. Children usually take cues from their parents. Therefore, it is vital to avoid small or harmless dishonesty. For example, you may tell your kid not to tell dad that you had an ice cream date in all innocence. But the child may get the message that hiding things from loved ones is acceptable. Also, let your kid hear you refer to others in truthful tones. In case you realise your child is lying, try not to overreact. Instead, calmly explain the consequences of lying and encourage your kid to own up to his wrong.
2. Good Manners
Parents may like to instil good manners in their child as early as possible. Good manners may help shape your child into a pleasant and loving person and boost his social IQ. You may like to commonly use phrases like ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ while dealing with your child. Be sure to conduct yourself rightfully, as kids learn more by observing an adult’s actions. Constant and consistent modelling of good manners may assist your child in adopting them so that they become an integral part of his life.
3. Healthy Food Selections
Parents may foster the importance of eating right and healthy lifestyles with their children. Driving them to make healthy food choices may help promote their well-being and guarantee them a life free of diseases and health issues. You can train your children to develop healthy eating habits by offering nutritious meals from their early years and preferring nutritious food items for yourself.
4. Respect
Respect is fundamental to the development of various other character traits. Respect for elders, respect for other people, respect for authority, and respect for oneself is crucial for becoming a good human being. Being respectful helps generate feelings of self-worth and empathy for others. It may teach children to peacefully co-exist and accept people as they are irrespective of their caste, creed and religion. Important qualities like cleanliness, obedience, self-control, kindness, and determination may follow if there is basic human respect.
5. To Lose Gracefully
Life may present many disappointing situations. Accepting failure can be challenging to handle. Parents may wish to coach their child to be a better sport, lose, or even win gracefully. They may be inspired to take failures in their stride and see them as learning lessons. Children who are actively involved in playing sports and accumulate healthy experiences of winning and losing on the field may be better equipped to deal with failures in life.
6. Time Management
Parents may teach the value of time in their children by helping them imbibe conscious control of time. Children who understand how to prioritise things, plan well and organise efficiently can grow up to have successful careers. Children can improve their productivity and competence by learning time management. Good time management can also help to increase focus and enhance decision-making abilities.
7. Responsibility
Children may tremendously benefit from learning to be responsible. Ingraining responsibility in kids may be akin to teaching them vital skills in life. Parents can model responsible behaviour by showing kids how to do things that one is supposed to and then accept the outcome of that action. It may help the kids to develop a healthy attitude towards work and take pride in all that he does.
8. Compassion and Forgiveness
Gradually teach your child to extend a helping hand whenever an opportunity arises. It can be little things like helping to water the plants, carrying a bag of groceries for the elderly neighbour, or helping someone with directions. Inspiring to care for others and considering the requests of others first may promote the values of compassion and kindness. Encourage your child to harbour feelings of forgiveness towards others. The ability to forgive others is essential for peace of mind and for being happy in life.
9. The Joy of Learning
Create opportunities for your kid so that he may develop a love for learning. Help him to discover his passion and then support him to strive for it. It may motivate your kid to build on prevailing knowledge and skills and acquire new ones. Regularly learning new things may infuse them with confidence, lift their self-esteem and make them more receptive to learning from life situations.
10. Money Management
Childhood life lessons may include an ethical head start on how to handle money, the value of saving, and the consequences of wasteful spending habits as soon as he gets an allowance. Introduce him to budgeting early on in life. It is vital to indoctrinate the concept of contentment and intelligent ways of spending.
11. Resilience
Life is filled with ups and downs, and teaching children to be resilient helps them bounce back from setbacks and challenges. Encourage them to embrace failure as a learning opportunity and emphasise the importance of perseverance and a positive mindset.
12. Emotional Intelligence
Help children understand and manage their emotions by teaching them empathy, self-awareness, and effective communication. Teach them to recognise and express their feelings healthily and understand and empathise with others’ emotions.
13. Critical Thinking
Foster a love for learning and critical thinking in children by encouraging them to ask questions, seek information, and think independently. Teach them to evaluate information, consider different perspectives, and make informed decisions.
14. Financial Literacy
Equip children with basic financial knowledge and skills, such as budgeting, saving, and understanding the value of money. Teach them the importance of responsible spending and saving habits from an early age.
15. Mental Health Awareness
Educate children about mental health and the importance of taking care of their well-being. Teach them strategies for managing stress, building resilience, and seeking support when needed. Encourage open conversations about emotions and mental health.
16. Personal Values and Integrity
Help children understand the importance of honesty, integrity, and staying true to their values. Teach them to make ethical choices, treat others respectfully and kindly, and stand up for their beliefs.
17. The Power of Gratitude and Mindfulness
Teach children to appreciate the present moment and cultivate a sense of gratitude for the little things in life. Encourage them to practice mindfulness, being aware of their surroundings and embracing moments of joy and contentment.
Parents are the guides who have the responsibility to help their kids positively navigate life by providing them with the necessary wisdom, knowledge and information. Imparting important life lessons may empower children to become good, upright, and successful.
Also Read:
How to Teach a Child to Share
How to Teach Your Child to Behave Well
Good Habits Every Parent Must Teach Their Child
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List of Magic Words for Kids to Learn & Their Importance
Speaking softly and using polite words is a quality that is appreciated by all. When young children reflect this, everybody is pleased and appreciative of them. This social acceptance is as much important for the psychological development of a child as it is for the parents to reassure they are doing a wonderful job raising their children. Part of polite speech is the ‘magic words’ or the ‘golden words’ that all children must learn. These are essentially words that show respect and love to people, and soften the child’s language. One of the best ways to teach your child these magic words is by using them in your daily life, and this will automatically be reflected in their behaviour as well. Continue reading for all you need to know about these magic words for kids and how to teach them to your child.
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Why Must Every Kid Learn ‘The Magic Words’ or ‘The Golden Words’?
Words have a lot of power in establishing goodwill and ourselves as well-meaning individuals in any social setting. If you have ever observed the most popular or the most liked or the most charismatic people in your lives, they are quite excellent in their use of language and words. The magic words such as Thank You, Please, May I, Excuse me can put an instant smile on anyone’s face. These words build a positive perception of you in the mid of the other person.
When children use these words they are liked by everyone and are invited to engage in social activities. It increases their socialisation and builds their interpersonal skills which are absolutely essential for their growth and development into healthy respected adults. The golden words for kids also elicit a positive response from the other person which would result in a better conversation or interaction over-all.
What Are the Golden Words?
Here are the five essential magic words for kids to learn:
1. Thank You
Thank you is the word they need to say to express gratitude towards generosity and any help they received from others unsolicited or not. By saying this word yourself in social situations builds the importance of this word in their minds where they learn that thanks you is how they express their gratitude. Saying thank you also helps children grow into humble adults without a mentality of entitlement. Thank you is also a word that children should say even when they are paying for the services they receive. It is a productive habit to teach them to be thankful for all the good things and people they have in their life on a daily basis.
2. Sorry
Everyone inevitably makes mistakes and often unintended and children need to be taught to take responsibility for their actions and say sorry when they hurt or offend someone. An honest apology invites forgiveness and peace into most situations and kids have to understand that saying sorry isn’t a sign of weakness but a display of their responsibility. Owning up to their deed whether it is good or bad shows their strength of character and a habit of apologising by saying sorry when they are at fault will help gain the trust of their peers and social circles.
3. Excuse Me
Children start out as the center of attention in their families and wherever they go. As they get older they begin to realise that the world doesn’t revolve around them and people can get offended if they interrupt or demand attention all the time. While it slowly dawns on them that the world is much bigger and they have to wait their turn for everything, learning to use the word excuse me is one way to set them on theory course towards politeness. The word gains more importance when they empathise with others and understand that being interrupted is just as annoying for others as it is for them.
4. May I
‘May I’ is a term similar to ‘excuse me’ and seeks permission for undertaking a task or to interrupt. As children, using the words ‘may I’ builds the habit of respecting the authority or elders and carries it forward until such a time that they are able to make decisions on their own. ‘May I’ is also a polite way to ask for something or become a part of an activity without coming across as rude and intrusive. The words instil a sense of responsibility in the children to respect the privacy of others or even seek permission for activities they are not expected to perform.
5. Please
Learning how to make a request is one of the fundamental skills children need to develop. As young children are the center of the universe in every family, they get away with everything they want. As they grow older they need to learn how to request for what they want as things are no longer readily available to them or that people are unwilling to hand them everything they desire. This is where the word ‘please’ becomes essential in the vocabulary of every child. Requesting by saying please is also a good lesson in instilling humility in children.
6. I Beg Your Pardon
We may often not catch what someone is saying, and ask them to repeat themselves. When doing so, it is always polite to say ‘I beg your pardon’, before asking them to do so. This shows respect and is a polite way to tell someone you did not fully understand them. This can also be used as an apology for when your child may interrupt a conversation or apologise for something. Teach your child these words, and they will instantly be appreciated by loved ones.
How to Teach Magic Words to Children?
Here are some ways on how to teach golden words for parents:
1. Make it Fun
At first, the magic words can come across as boring for children and they might even feel that they are coerced to say it, so make it fun to use them. Use songs and games with the magic words and narrate stories with people using the words in it to familiarise them with it. Good examples of stories with golden words are ‘The nails and love’ and ‘The magic tree’.
2. Encourage Good Manners and Magic Words with Friends
This is a great opportunity to introduce magic words for kindergarten children without them feeling the pressure to use it. Children are more comfortable with others of their age and will readily use the golden words if it makes them more likeable and accepted in the peer group. Begin with teaching them to say ‘hello’ ‘good morning’ when they meet and ‘please’ during playtime when they have to share toys.
3. Do not Force Them to Use the Words
Allow your children to warm up to the idea of golden words through rewards and not punishments. Respond to them with praise and more warmth when they use golden words rather than frowning upon them when they don’t use it. Tell them that people like it when they use the magic words and they will be more liked. Also do not negotiate with the child to expect any physical rewards for using the golden words; it is not a good idea to attach any physical currency to it.
4. Set Realistic Goals and Have Practice Sessions
Build the habit of using magic words at home with your family and relatives. When they meet the neighbours and friends practice saying excuse me, thank you, sorry and other words as they interact with them.
5. Be Patient
Getting your child to use the golden words will take months of practice as their language develops therefore it is important that you stay patient and correct them throughout. If they forget, gently nudge the words back in without being pushy so they can remember to use them in the appropriate situation. Use them in your own conversation with your friends, neighbours and interaction with your child to make the words part of daily conversation.
6. Explain to Them the Benefits of Being Polite
Show them that using the golden words and being polite has consequences and makes people happy. “Grandma was very happy that you said thank you today” is an example of the consequence of being polite. Encourage them to observe that when they are being polite they would receive politeness and love in return.
FAQs
1. Can Magic Words Help Children Boost Their Confidence?
Yes, indeed. When your child uses magic words to express politeness, they will get a positive response which builds confidence. They will feel more sure of themselves and find it easy to have conversations with others.
2. Do Magic Words Help Children Handle Difficult Situations?
Difficult situations come and go, but a polite word stays forever. Whether your child is facing trouble at school or home, they will learn that magic words help them get through difficult situations, and people will be more likely to help them too. It gives them the strength and confidence to deal with tricky times.
Golden words lay the foundation of politeness and courtesy in children which will help them grow up to become humble and confident individuals. It takes time and effort to inculcate good manners and it is a continuous effort on the part of the parent.
Also Read:
Moral Stories for Children
Popular Night Time Prayers for Kids
Pleasing Morning Prayers for Children
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Effective Tips to Teach Your Child to Dress Themselves
Getting your child to dress himself up has many benefits to not just your child but to you as well. It is one thing less that you will have to do, especially once your child starts attending classes and punctuality will be of consequence. It also gives your child a chance to be responsible while also having fun with what he is wearing. Having said this, it is easier said than done to get your child to dress himself. Here, we give you great tips that you can use to make the entire process easier for you and your child.
Why Should You Teach Your Children to Get Dressed on Their Own
While as adults we do not think twice about dressing ourselves, it is a tricky and rewarding thing for your child to learn. Dressing yourself might seem like second nature to you now, but there are many benefits to teaching your child how to dress himself. Dressing helps develop many skills such as:
Fine motor skills, especially when dealing with zippers and shoelaces
Gross motor skills, like when balancing yourself on one leg to wear socks
Cognitive skills, when remembering the order in which the clothes are worn and the patience for the entire process
Language skills, when learning the names for different items of clothing
A sense of time and occasion, when they learn what type of clothing suits the occasion or the weather
Dressing Skills at Different Ages
If you are wondering at what age should a child begin to dress himself, then you are asking the wrong type of question. Rather than focusing on when should a child dress himself, you should look at this process as something that will happen step by step over a period of time that will last a few years. As your child grows, you will see small advancements towards learning how to dress himself. Your role is to encourage these attempts and have patience while he learns the next new step.
1. At 1 Year
Your child will hold up his arms to wear sleeves and feet to wear shoes
He can pull off his socks and shoes
He can push his arms through the sleeves and legs through pants
2. At 2 Years
Your child may be able to take off an unfastened sweater or coat
Your child will help you push down his pants
He will find the armholes in shirts
3. At 2 ½ Years
Your child will be able to remove pants that have an elastic waistband
He will try to put on socks on his own
Putting on a shirt or sweater without buttoning it may become easy
Unbuttoning large buttons may also become possible
4. At 3 Years
Your child will be able to wear a t-shirt with a little bit of help
He’ll wear his shoes without securing them. However, he might put it on the wrong foot!
He’ll be able to put on his socks with some help
Pull off his t-shirt on his own
Use zippers
Button large buttons
5. At 4 Years
Use the buckles on his shoes or belts
Use connector zippers
Put on socks with no help
Put on shoes with little help
Can recognize the front and back of a clothing item
6. At 4 ½ Years
Wear pants with minimal help
Put a belt through the belt loops
7. At 5 Years
Dress with no supervision
Put on his clothes the right way every time
How to Teach Kids to Dress Themselves
Teaching your child how to dress himself requires a healthy dose of patience. While it might be frustrating for you to watch your child wear his shoes for five minutes, it is important that he learns how to do so. Here are a few tips that can help with the more difficult aspects of dressing.
1. Elastic Pants
Pick pants that are loose with an elastic band at the waist. Go for sweats rather than jeans until your child learns how to pull them off. You can then graduate to buttons than snap on or even a slide button. The last type of button to learn is the traditional type as it is the hardest.
2. Sit Down When Dressing
This is particularly useful when wearing pants or other bottoms like shoes and socks. Your child can then focus on just wearing the pants and not have to worry about balancing himself while also figuring out how to wear the clothes.
3. Push Arms Through Sleeves
Encourage your child to push his arms through the sleeves. This is one of the easiest steps to achieve and will boost your child’s confidence.
4. Encourage to Button
You might be wondering how to teach a child to button shirt. For older kids, you must encourage them to button their own shirts. While there might be a few mismatched buttons in the beginning, the payoff is worth it.
5. Lay Out the Clothes
In the beginning, it is best to not confuse your child with too many choices. Pick out all his clothes and lay them out for him to wear. You can also lay them in the order that he has to wear clothes.
6. Distinguish Between Front and Back
Teach your child how to recognize the tell-tale signs to distinguish between the front and back of clothes. Point out that the tag of a dress is always on the back, or that buttons are usually on the front.
7. Start with Removing
Removing clothes is much easier than putting them on and your child will find this easier. Also, in most cases, your child will be wearing clothes based on a schedule. While removing clothes, schedules are usually more relaxed, like around bath time or sleep time.
8. Easy Shoes
One important aspect of teaching toddlers to dress is wearing shoes. Start with shoes that are easy to get into such as slip-on shoes that stretch. Show your child how you wear your shoes, with the toes going in first and then the heel. Encourage him to try on his own.
9. Easy Wear Shirts
If the idea of getting your child’s head through a t-shirt hole scares you and him alike, you can start with easy wear shirts. Look for shirts that have stick on panels or velcro in place of buttons.
How to Help a Child with Developmental Delay to Dress
The first thing to do is to get a professional on board. This will not only help with aspects of dressing but other areas of development where your child will need specialized attention. Be sure to stay patient and use different techniques for teaching. You can give your child instructions by telling, by showing, or step by step. Think about if the skill you want your child to learn is something that he is physically capable of doing. There is a fine line between teaching your child about perseverance and him getting frustrated with what you perceive as simple tasks.
There are many benefits to your kids learning how to dress themselves. While most of these benefits revolve around physical capabilities, the mental and emotional benefits are also undeniable. Learning how to dress himself will give your child a boost in confidence. You can tell your child to choose one item of clothing the previous night that he can wear through the day. This will encourage him to dress even if they find some tasks particularly challenging and frustrating.
Also Read: Effective Tips for Teaching Time Management to Children
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Living With In-Laws – Is It a Boon or a Bane?
It is actually a boon if the in-laws can understand at least 10% compared to what our parents understand us. I would like to categorise in-laws as –
Educated
Uneducated But Understanding
Now, the first category is for the in-laws who are educated. It is definitely a big boon to a girl. Here are some more pros:
If you are working, then they can understand your goals and dreams, and will definitely support you in your future plans.
If you are working and have kids, they can take care of your kids’ studies, also care for their own health.
If you had to attend something important other than work, they are understanding, and you can just go ahead and be rest assured that somebody is there to take care of your kids.
If you want to spend some quality time with your partner, they know its importance and respect your privacy.
If both you and your partner were occupied with something important and had to reach home late, everything will be taken care of at home, including your kids.
If you have any misunderstandings between you and your partner, they will definitely help you solve the problem. They actually are the backbone for your family.
Some of your kids’ responsibilities can be shared by the in-laws if you are a working woman.
Let’s take a look at the second category – Uneducated but Understanding.
All of the above pros apply even though the in-laws are not educated. But only one thing is you have to put some extra effort into your kids’ studies.
Believe me; it’s a boon. More importantly, kids can learn so many valuable things from elders at home.
There will be a difference between kids who grow with their grandparents and parents, than those who grow only with parents, or those who are raised by their grandparents alone.
However, in my opinion, educated understanding in-laws make for the best parents and grandparents. Whoever is reading this whether it’s a married woman or unmarried, please make decisions maturely and wisely. Give equal importance to your in-laws as you give to your parents.
Disclaimer: The views, opinions and positions (including content in any form) expressed within this post are those of the author alone. The accuracy, completeness and validity of any statements made within this article are not guaranteed. We accept no liability for any errors, omissions or representations. The responsibility for intellectual property rights of this content rests with the author and any liability with regards to infringement of intellectual property rights remains with him/her.
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How to Teach Your Child to Apologize (Say Sorry) and Actually Mean It
Along with words like ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, the other important word your child must learn is ‘sorry’. Teaching kids to apologise sincerely is crucial to their emotional development and ability to build meaningful relationships. At times, it is difficult to ensure that children actually mean it even when they are not willing to say sorry. While saying “sorry” may seem like a simple act, helping children understand the importance of taking responsibility and feeling genuine remorse is essential. Your child might also not think that his actions were wrong or that it requires him to apologise. Keep reading to learn ways to help you teach your child to apologise with empathy.
Why Is It Important for a Child to Learn to Apologise?
Apologising is not just a social gesture; it helps your kid identify his mistakes, take responsibility for them, and heal the relationship. Sometimes, your child might squeak a sorry just to make you feel better. In such cases, the child does not learn anything from it. It is important to teach your child that saying sorry is not just a simple standby solution. He should learn and understand how he has affected another person by misbehaving. It is easy to force or push your child to say the word ‘sorry’, but making him understand what he has done is far more critical.
Easy Ways to Teach Your Child to Say “Sorry”
For raising your kid to become responsible enough to apologise and accept his mistakes, practice these tips.
1. Teach Your Child When to Apologise
It is hard to make a small kid understand right and wrong. However, it is important to start bringing these two concepts into their awareness as early as possible. You can begin by explaining the meaning of an apology and pointing out that apologies should be made when he makes a mistake. Encourage the kid to empathise to help him realise his wrongdoings, like asking how he would react if another kid did something similar (6).
2. Show Your Child How to Apologise Correctly
Start teaching your kid the different components of apologising the right way. A good apology is not just muttering the word under his breath (3).
Make eye contact.
Stand up straight and still.
You should encourage the kid to add words into his apology like telling the listener what he did wrong so the listener knows that your kid knows what he did.
Your child can also end the apology with a promise of doing better in the future.
Your child can follow up with a question to ensure that his mistake has been forgiven.
Teach your child to use the correct tone of voice when apologising. Saying ‘I’m sorry’ in different tones will help your child understand what sounds genuine and what doesn’t.
3. Help Your Child Deal With His Emotions
When you talk to your child about what he did that requires an apology, there are chances that he might be defensive of his actions. In this case, take some time and ensure that he understands why you asked him to apologise and why he shouldn’t feel embarrassed. Let him know that accepting one’s mistake takes courage (4).
4. Be Neutral
It is never a good idea to fall into two extremities – you should neither be too defensive of your child’s actions nor blame your child and support the other child. You will also be hearing a lot of “he did it” or “she started it”. Try to remain calm in such situations and explain to them that both of them have to apologise to each other. If your child feels bad afterwards, explain that conflict happens between two people, and both contribute to it. So even if it did not start because of your child, apologising is still important (5).
5. Let Your Child Apologise in His Own Way
Sometimes, he may not want to apologise at the time. In such cases, it is better to give kids, especially the older ones, time to calm down and think about their actions before apologising. He can also apologise in his own way, like giving a hug, a flower, or even a note. It is more important that your child is willing to apologise and understands his mistake.
6. Make Your Child Aware of The Consequences of Not Apologising
If your child repeatedly refuses to apologise for his actions, talk to him about the consequences he has to face because of his behaviour. You could say that his friend might not talk to him again and will refuse to play with him.
7. Walk the Talk
Never forget that you should be a good role model for your kid. You should never refuse to apologise to your kid when you make a mistake. Your child will never understand the significance of ‘sorry’ if he never hears it in the house. So when it is necessary, apologise without getting very defensive about it (2).
8. Focus More on the Good Behaviour
Always remember that the more your child starts to differentiate right from wrong, the less he will have to apologise. Therefore, good behaviour should be focused on more than teaching him to apologise because when the child keeps repeating his mistakes, his apology becomes meaningless. So first, prep your child to identify his wrongdoings and amend them. Eventually, he will learn to avoid making such mistakes.
9. Teach Empathy
Teaching empathy helps children understand the emotions of others, making their apologies more sincere. Encourage your child to think about how their actions affect others by asking them to imagine how they would feel in similar situations (1).
10. Remember to Show Love
When your child does something wrong, never let him feel unloved. Forcing a child to apologise makes him feel more shameful and angry. Therefore, the best thing you can do is to make your child understand his mistakes and help him figure out the solution.
FAQs
1. At what age should I start teaching my child to apologise?
Children can begin learning the concept of an apology around 2-3 years old. While younger kids may not fully grasp the idea, starting early helps build the habit of acknowledging mistakes and showing empathy.
2. What should I do if my child refuses to apologise?
If your child refuses to apologise, focus on teaching them about empathy and the consequences of their actions. Avoid forcing them to say “sorry,” as this can make apologies seem meaningless. Instead, encourage them to make amends in their own time.
3. How can I teach my child to apologise without feeling ashamed?
Help them understand that apologies are part of personal growth; everyone makes mistakes, and apologising is a positive step toward fixing things.
This process can be hard at first, but your child will gradually start developing responsibility, understanding the consequences of his actions and behaviour, and developing empathy. You will definitely end up being proud to have raised a polite kid.
References/Resources:
1. Teaching Kids to Apologize; CHARACTER COUNTS!; https://charactercounts.org/teaching-kids-to-apologize/#
2. 3 Reasons Apologizing to Your Child Is Important; Idaho Youth Ranch; https://www.youthranch.org/blog/being-human
3. Easy Tips For Teaching Children About How to Apologize: A Primer for Yom Kippur; PJ Library; https://pjlibrary.org/beyond-books/pjblog/september-2023/easy-tips-for-teaching-children-about-how-to-apolo
4. Kaminsky. A; How To Teach Your Child To Apologize Sincerely; Advanced Psychology Services; https://www.psy-ed.com/wpblog/teach-your-child-to-apologize/
5. Jackson. L; Teach Your Kids How To Apologize…and Mean It; Connected Families; https://connectedfamilies.org/teach-your-kids-how-to-say-sorry-and-mean-it/
6. Morin. A; How to Teach Kids to Give a Genuine Apology; Understood; https://www.understood.org/en/articles/how-to-give-a-genuine-apology
Also Read:
How to Teach Your Kid to Behave Well
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Good Habits Every Parent Must Teach Their Child
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How Can Parents Promote Gender Equality At Home
Gender equality is an often discussed topic, but you must have noticed that the discussion never has a reasonable conclusion. Little things, little remarks that people make in their daily life show how enormous this problem is. ‘Why are you crying like a girl?’ is an oft-repeated remark when a little boy weeps. When a child is born, people decide different roles for boys and girls. Toys such as dolls and kitchen equipment will always be for girls, and guns and cars for boys. As a parent, promoting gender equality at home starts with you.
You must be wondering – how to teach gender equality? As the first teachers of your kids, you can instil values in them that will last forever. As a parent, you have to let your children know that a boy and girl should be treated with equal respect.
From a very young age, children ask questions about the physical differences between a boy and a girl, which may make you feel awkward to answer, and you may ignore them. However, you must make them understand and explain them in the best possible way. You can tell them that no two people are the same. Everyone should get equal rights, equal opportunities, and fair treatment. Your child must understand that except for the physical difference, there should be no other difference in the upbringing of two children.
What Is Gender Equality?
Gender equality means that people of all genders have the same rights and opportunities in life. This includes access to education, jobs, and the chance to participate in decisions that affect their lives. It ensures that everyone can reach their potential without being treated unfairly because of their gender. Achieving gender equality is important because it helps improve economies, communities, and creates a more stable and fair society for everyone.
Why Is It Important to Teach Kids About Gender Equality?
You can’t teach kids about gender equality only once in life and expect them to remember it for a lifetime. It should be an ongoing process – a part of their daily upbringing. Not bringing up your son and daughter equally can have disastrous implications. Boys who are brought up as the privileged ones or are given more opportunities, freedom, grow up with a mindset that they are superior to their sisters and to women in general. If a boy while growing up notices that his mother or sister is always working in the kitchen, he may think that it is the job of a woman. Disrespecting and disregarding women may become something normal for a boy grown up with this mentality. Domestic violence, eve-teasing, are the fallouts of this mindset.
Sometimes, girls also start accepting gender-defined roles. They may grow up with low self-confidence, low self-esteem, and look up to the males in their family for protection. However, in this age, women should be free, and they should be able to do what they want to do with their lives. If you want your kids to grow up to be confident and kind, you must treat them equally. Tell your son when he does something wrong and then do the same for your daughter too.
How to Educate Children About Gender Equality
Teaching gender equality to kids does not require any special preparation or atmosphere. Let your children learn by observation. Some ways of how you can teach gender equality to your kids are as follows:
1. Be an example
This is the most basic method of teaching gender equality at home. Display the kind of behaviour you expect from your children. As a husband and wife, you must speak to each other with respect, share the household chores, and handle other tasks together. Let your kids notice that you work together as a team. Let them see that it is not a woman’s duty to cook dinner for everyone in the family or a man’s responsibility to buy groceries from the shop. When your kids notice this, it will reflect in their behaviour too. So, set a good example.
2. Teach that both are special
Don’t show preferential behaviour towards either of your kids or be harsh on boys and soft on girls or vice versa. Some parents treat the girls as if they are made of porcelain. They are already making them feel that they are weak and need to be protected all the time. These parents, in turn, are harsh on the boys. If you don’t tolerate the bad behaviour of the son, don’t condone the bad behaviour of the daughter either. Reprimand them or appreciate them in the same way for their bad or good behaviour.
3. Teach them that all household chores are equal
Here are some of the activities to teach gender equality. Let the children help in the household work as per their age, equally, irrespective of gender. Let them share the workload with you, whether it is washing cars, washing dishes in the kitchen, chopping vegetables, hanging the washed clothes, going out to buy household things etc. Both should be given every kind of work without earmarking them as the girlie work and the manly work.
4. Watch your language and theirs
Don’t use abusive language in front of them, especially that which disparages and belittles a female. Stop them from using swear words. Generally, the parents, especially the father, overlook the bad language of the son. The son must be made to understand that it’s not cool and manly to swear and curse.
5. A successful daughter is not a replacement for a son
The girl has her own place as a daughter. The typical refrain parents use for a successful daughter with many achievements is, “She is not my daughter, she is my son.” Why? By saying so, you are negating her efforts and indirectly telling her that sons are better than daughters.
6. Teach both of them to be self-dependent
Teach them both the life skills to survive when alone such as, cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing and mending clothes, small repair work in and around the house.
7. Encourage them to do what they want
If a daughter wants to play football, let her and if the son wants to join cookery or dance classes, permit him.
8. Set the same curfew time for both
The time for both to return home after the evening should be the same. Do not extend the time for your son.
9. Create an equal division of property for both
Let them know that both are equal inheritors of the parental property.
10. Promote family bonding time
Have discussions on common issues and pay heed to both equally. Watch with them movies that are soft with mainly female characters and, the ones considered for boys only. Allow both to cry while watching.
FAQs
1. What are some common misconceptions about gender equality?
Some people think that gender equality only helps women or that when one gender gets more rights, the other loses out. Others believe that achieving gender equality means making everyone the same instead of celebrating differences.
2. How does gender equality impact mental health?
Gender equality can improve mental health by reducing stress and anxiety caused by unfair treatment. When people feel respected and valued, regardless of their gender, it boosts their self-esteem and overall happiness.
3. What role do men play in achieving gender equality?
Men can help achieve gender equality by supporting equal rights and standing up against stereotypes. When men are involved in conversations about gender equality, it can help change society’s views and create a more inclusive environment for everyone.
If gender equality is practised at home, the world will be a much better place to live in, especially for women.
References/Resources:
1. Girls’ education; UNICEF; https://www.unicef.org/education/girls-education
2. Gender pay gap in the U.S. hasn’t changed much in two decades; Pew Research Center; https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/03/01/gender-pay-gap-facts/
3. Belingheri. P, Chiarello. F, Colladon. A, Rovelli. P; Twenty years of gender equality research: A scoping review based on a new semantic indicator (PLoS One); National Library of Medicine; https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8454943/; September 2021
4. Gender Equality in Academia and Research; European Institute for Gender Equality; https://eige.europa.eu/sites/default/files/documents/mh0716096enn_1.pdf
5. Gender equality; UNICEF; https://www.unicef.org/gender-equality
6. Guthridge. M, Kirkman. M, Penovic. T, Giummarra. M; Promoting Gender Equality: A Systematic Review of Interventions; Springer Link; https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11211-022-00398-z; September 2022
7. Devi. T; Gender Equality: Women Empowerment; World Wide Journals; https://www.worldwidejournals.com/global-journal-for-research-analysis-GJRA/special_issues_pdf/September_2017_1507115725__62.pdf; September 2017
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10 Basic Life Skills for Children
Children need to adapt to a fast-changing world. It is the parents’ duty to prepare their kids to have a smooth transition and provide training of basic life skills to help them achieve this. It makes children ready for all new challenges in life. The life skills we will be talking about in this article will help your child do just that and more!
Video: 10 Basic Life Skills to Teach Your Kids
10 Life Skills to Teach Your Kids
The present generation of parents tends to be too protective of their kids. This inhibits the child from learning skills that could come handy when he moves out into the world. Listed here are some vital life skills that your kids must develop to become self-dependent.
1. Prepare a Meal
Most schools, these days, have culinary skill classes as it is a very handy life skill. Nowadays, the family system is moving to a nuclear set-up, and most kids have both parents working. It is, therefore, essential for them to learn some safe and quick meal preparation methods.
Preschool kids (3 to 5 years of age) can learn basic measuring techniques and how to add cheese, butter, or jam to toast, how to peel a boiled egg, etc. Older kids between the ages 6 to 8 years can use non-fire kitchen appliances to fix a meal for themselves.
Appliances such as microwave ovens and toasters have made cooking easier and safer for children these days. However, it is important that parents guide them thoroughly and supervise them initially till they can confidently use them. Use of appropriate utensils, tools, and kitchenware such as mittens, napkins, tongs, etc. should be taught for them to be safe while they cook up something for themselves in their parents’ absence.
Basic knife skills such as cutting, chopping, grating and slicing can be taught when kids are in their pre-teen years. Again, supervision is essential for you don’t want your kids to get hurt. Also, ensure kids don’t rush through while chopping the vegetables. Parents must encourage their children to be careful and enjoy the process, too.
2. Do Laundry
Kids above ten years of age are ready to help you with household laundry routine. Some basic machine operations can be taught to them. Even younger kids can help you with laundry by doing simple tasks, such as collecting the laundry clothes in the hamper, separating the whites from the colours, or folding small towels and napkins. It is never too late to start with some laundry routine at home.
3. Wake-up Independently
We are the alarm-clocks for our children. We are also their backup plans. Inadvertently, we are the ones to instil this hope in them that come-what-may, we are there to watch their backs. Is this helping them grow, or is it hampering their growth? Sometimes stepping back and letting them figure their routines is a big step towards their independence.
Allowing children to set their alarm clocks and wake up on time, without any help seems like a big task, but they will get there eventually. Driving them to school if they wake up late or finding excuses to justify their late mornings is a big NO. We must let them face reality and allow them to experience the consequences of their choices. The sense of time and discipline is a fundamental requirement for a healthy and productive life.
4. Pack Their Things
Children, from a very young age, get used to parents packing their bags, whether it is their school bags, sleepover bags and even their picnic bags. Everything that goes into the bag is decided by the parents and put-in by the parents. This habit is not very good as the child, even after growing up, is unaware of what to carry for what occasions. They become forgetful when they become adults and might need constant reminders or help to pack up. Things such as forgetting office files or essential documents on business trips can be quite inconvenient. The early cultivation of packing their bags can make them independent and responsible adults.
5. Commute on Their Own Using Public Transport
Most parents are never ready to send their children alone on public transport like buses or the metro. They are too scared that the kids might lose their way. However, kids must learn to use public transport systems after a certain age, whether parents like it or not. Therefore they must be taught to read and decipher maps, understand signs boards, know and remember landmarks, or even safely talk to strangers, so they can learn to navigate the road on their own.
You may begin teaching your child these important life skills by the age of ten. However, ensure you take a step at a time and are with your child till he gets used to the new routine. Remember that children need some time to adapt, and eventually, they will, but for safety reasons, parents must be absolutely sure that their kids know and remember what they were taught.
6. Restaurant Etiquette
Restaurant etiquette should be taught to children as soon as they reach middle school (11 to 14 years). It is important that children learn to order food and do so respectfully and politely. Introduce them to the menu, and encourage them to read from it and place the order.
Kids with allergies need to be aware of the foods they need to avoid. Therefore, when they learn to place orders, ensure they also check for the ingredients to avoid allergic reactions. Also, parents must stress enough on being kind, considerate and polite; encourage them to use ‘Please’ and ‘Thank You’ when they place their orders.
You may not have to do this all the time, but for your kids to get used to budgeting, you may also set an amount and request them to choose a dish well within the budget.
Their table etiquette, too, should involve eating without creating a mess or causing any public disturbance. When children grow older and dine-out with friends and colleagues, this skill will speak volumes about their personality and upbringing.
You may also touch upon safety precautions such as being aware of the surroundings, not talking about personal matters, never sharing confidential information at public places, and taking care of the belongings, such as jackets, wallets, and backpacks.
7. Take Care of Another Living Being
Kids love pets. But, at what age are they ready to handle that responsibility? The best pets for toddlers are fish or birds. Only at the age of 7 years or above are children prepared to handle the responsibility of cats and dogs. The best way to start teaching them to be responsible with another living-thing is, to begin with, plants (gardening).
Also, before adopting one, parents must know if their kids are allergic to pets. Signs such as sneezing, nasal congestion, runny nose, cough, watery eyes, itchy or red eyes, etc. upon coming in contact with pets denote pet allergy. Parents must get their kids tested and choose an alternative to teach this life skill if they actually are allergic to pets.
Babysitting or taking care of siblings without adult supervision should not be encouraged before the child is at least 12 years old.
8. Manage Money
Kids are never allowed to manage finances at home. It is a myth that they must learn when they start earning their own money. This belief is often misplaced. They can always begin to learn to spend their pocket money wisely. You can educate them about comparing prices before making a purchase. You can also explain how some simple banking works so that they can save as well.
9. Do Grocery Shopping
Parents do not allow their kids out of their sight at the grocery store as there is a considerable risk of them going missing. However, these days grocery stores are well arranged and labelled and are also monitored through CCTV cameras. It is okay to allow children to explore and shop for themselves.
9 to 10 years of age is a good time to teach kids to shop for groceries. Of course, they cannot be sent all alone to the grocery store one fine day; they have to transition slowly and learn the skill step by step. Parents can start taking their kids along for grocery shopping and when the time is right, request them to get something from a different aisle. They can and should observe their children and provide any guidance or even tips as necessary.
Parents can continue accompanying their children and supervising them till they are comfortable and confident. Kids aged 14 to 16 years are usually able to go grocery shopping alone if they are introduced to it by age 9 or 10.
10. Plan an Outing
This is a huge task for teenagers as it involves taking into consideration unforeseen circumstances. Choosing a place, getting parents to do the pick-ups and drops, buying stuff, ensuring the safety of others are tasks that must be completed for a successful trip. They might not get a perfect ten the first time, but they will learn as they progress. It is a joy to see a child working meticulously to plan an outing.
Parenting is not an easy task, but it is a journey that both children and parents take together. We have to allow children to make mistakes so that they learn from them. These life skills make them better human beings, too!
Also Read: Safety Rules for Kids at School
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How to Teach Kids to Share – 15 Effective Ways
Sometimes when friends come over, they bring along their little one as well. It will only be a matter of time when the kids start talking and interacting with one another. Now imagine this, your kid takes your friend’s kid to his room and starts sharing all his toys. Wouldn’t that be amazing? Wondering how to teach kids to share? This article is just for you!
Sharing is one of the fundamental elements of life, and your child must master it to develop kindness, appreciation, and self-respect. Sharing doesn’t only teach your kids how to be empathetic but is a valuable life lesson designed for every human being. It’s a new experience, and the more experiences your child goes through, the stronger his values become down the lane. If you’ve always wondered how to teach lessons on sharing for preschoolers, we’ve got you covered.
Why Is It Important to Teach Kids to Share?
Sharing is a fundamental life skill. When your child learns to share, he begins to understand the meaning of taking turns and giving chances. From teamwork, cooperation, and relying on partners and such, sharing develops all these aspects in their lives.
What Age Do Children Learn to Share?
Children typically begin to learn the concept of sharing between the ages of 2 and 3 years old, but mastering this skill can take time and practice (1). At this stage, toddlers start to understand the idea of taking turns and playing together, though they may still struggle with possessiveness and frustration. By the age of 4 or 5, most children develop a better grasp of sharing, especially when guided by parents, caregivers, or teachers who model and encourage cooperative behavior. However, every child is unique, and the pace at which they learn to share can vary based on their temperament, social environment, and developmental stage.
Is It Normal for a Child to Find It Difficult to Share?
Yes. At the tender age of three, children start to develop a sense of empathy. However, they cannot control the result of their impulses. Since children don’t have complete control over their impulses before the age of 5 and above, you may notice your child reluctant to share even if he does want to (2). Fret not; it’s completely natural, and you should give your little one some time. After all, these are physiological changes taking place inside him, which he doesn’t have control over at that moment.
Effective Ways to Teach a Child Sharing
Here are 15 highly effective sharing activities for kids:
Taking Turns: Are your kids playing with the train? Tell them to take turns or share their toys (3). If they don’t share, take the toys away and let them realize the importance of sharing. This way, next time, they won’t hesitate to share and cooperate with each other instead of being selfish.
Appreciate Them: Did you just spot your child doing a good deed by sharing a cookie with his friend or sibling? Give him some appreciation and make him feel nice. He’ll crave that response from you again and definitely share next time.
Time It: Maybe your child faces a challenge to start sharing? Setting a timer during playdates is a great way to start things off. For example, if your child is playing with LEGOs, he’s got only 10 minutes to build whatever he likes until it’s his brother’s turns. If he wants to have another go, he’ll have to patiently wait for his turn or play with another toy in the meantime.
Tell Them It’s Temporary: If your child throws temper tantrums over-sharing, tell them that it’s not permanent but temporary. Children don’t like sharing their most valuable possessions (and who wouldn’t?), but once they realize it’s only for a few minutes to hours until they get it back, they’ll happily oblige.
Bond With Your Child: Children who are close to their parents are more self-secure and not reluctant to share what they have. The reason behind this is since they get enough love and affection from loved ones, they don’t feel the need to derive that love from inanimate objects or toys.
Explain the Benefits of Sharing: Sit down with your child and explain to them the benefits of sharing. If your child doesn’t share with others, he won’t receive anything either. Once he gets this simple concept, he’ll be more than happy to share.
Keep Away His Favourite Toys: If your child is reluctant to share his toys, ask him which ones he’d like to share. The ones he absolutely doesn’t want to, you can store them away on a shelf or somewhere else for their playdate. Once their friends leave, you can give it back to them. This will slowly help them transition to sharing more valuable things later on as they get accustomed to the act of lending lesser valuable things.
Show Them Sharing in Real Life: Extend the concept of sharing by showering love, affection and other things in real life. Kids sharing doesn’t stop at only food or toys. Teach them to share time and precious moments with siblings, like going to the park together or going to the theatre as a family. Teach them to hug their siblings and share emotional experiences with others too.
Use Different Words: If your child hesitates to share, you can try using words like “lending,” “borrowing”, or “getting it back after a few hours (or some time)”. This will make them feel secure and more likely to share once they are aware that they’ll get back what they share. Use words that are easy to process and understand when explaining the concept of sharing.
Be a Role Model: Your child learns from actions more than words, which is why being a role model for sharing is important. Share a pizza slice or a sandwich with your spouse and whenever you sit down to snack, ask your little one whether he wants some of it. By demonstrating sharing with others and by giving personal examples, he’ll want to be on the fun too.
Teach Them Charity: If there are toys your child no longer likes playing with, donate them to charity with your child’s involvement. Also, shopping for brand new toys to donate for charity is a surefire way to invoke a sense of empathy and compassion in your children. Take them on trips to orphanages and charitable institutions and encourage them to give away some of their valuables to help them realize how sharing makes the world a better place and how contributions make a difference.
Practice, Practice: Sharing is a skill just like anything else in life, and it stands true that it needs some practice. Get your child to interact with peers of his age and make friends. By building trust in his social circles, he’ll be more appreciative of sharing and be willing to show some of their things. There’s a huge difference in sharing with strangers and friends, and they’ll get that and appreciate it for what it is.
Create Sharing Games: Introduce fun games that require cooperation and sharing, such as building a block tower together or playing board games that involve taking turns. This makes sharing feel like a natural and enjoyable part of playtime rather than a forced activity.
Use Stories and Books: Read books or tell stories that highlight the importance of sharing and kindness. Children often relate to characters and learn valuable lessons through storytelling, which can inspire them to share more willingly.
Encourage Group Activities: Involve your child in group activities like art projects, team sports, or group playdates where sharing is essential. These experiences help them understand the value of collaboration and sharing in a social setting (4).
FAQs
1. What if my child only shares to avoid punishment?
If your child shares solely to avoid consequences, it’s important to focus on intrinsic motivation. Encourage them to understand how sharing makes others feel happy and how it strengthens friendships rather than framing it as a rule they must follow.
2. How do I handle sibling rivalry when teaching sharing?
Sibling rivalry can complicate sharing. To address this, create a system where each child has designated “special toys” they don’t have to share while encouraging them to share communal toys. This balance helps reduce conflicts and fosters a sense of fairness.
3. Can technology help teach sharing?
Yes, certain apps and games designed for kids can promote sharing and cooperation. Look for interactive games that require teamwork or taking turns, as these can reinforce sharing concepts in a digital format that kids enjoy.
Did you enjoy learning about sharing? Then why not share this article today and make the world a better place by spreading the joy and benefits of sharing!
References/Resources:
1. National Library of Medicine – Developmental Stages of Social Emotional Development in Children
2. National Library of Medicine – Mine or Yours? Development of Sharing in Toddlers in Relation to Ownership Understanding
3. American Academy of Pediatrics – Social Development in Preschoolers: Learning How to Share & Cooperate
4. Montana State University – The Importance of Play in Early Childhood Development
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Good Table Manners for kids
Whether your child is eating at home, having meals in school, or dining out with your friends, good table manners will help them enjoy the mealtimes and make them thrive in social situations for the rest of their lives. Teaching table manners to kids is important, and the earlier you start the better. Good table manners are necessary for social interactions and knowing that your child has learned them, you can send him to his friend’s birthday party without worrying about how he will eat or behave.
Now whether you want to teach table manners to your toddler or preschooler, or an older child, we have tips for teaching table manners to kids of different age groups.
How to Teach Table Manners to Your Child
When it comes to teaching something new to kids, always, always, lead by example. Constantly demonstrate and explain to your child what needs to be done and how. Children learn by observing and imitating their parents. So they need to see you and other family members setting the standards for good table manners like talking nicely at the table, using ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ while interacting with each other, etc.
Keep in mind to always appreciate your child’s good behaviour at the table. It is always better to talk specifically when praising a child. Explain to the child what exactly impressed you like when he sat properly or when he asked for things nicely. Positive reinforcement by parents motivates children to perform well.
Being consistent is important when teaching kids good table manners. When you introduce a polite behaviour to your child like saying ‘thank you’, have reasonable expectations in the beginning then prompt or gently remind the child every time he forgets to say it. Gradually, he will get conditioned to say ‘thank you’ whenever required.
Another way of teaching good table manners can be to organize dinner theme nights every week. You can choose a particular cuisine for example Chinese. Kids may not only find it a fun and interesting way to pick up good table manners like the use of chopsticks but may also learn about the culture and eating habits of different countries.
Toddlers
Toddlers may require persistent reminding to behave properly. It is important that parents start conditioning toddlers as early as they can start. Toddlers have a mind of their own, and for them, everything can be a game. So, you may have to keep repeating the rules again and again. It may be better to show them what they are expected to do. It may also help to demonstrate the consequences of not following the rules.
Most toddlers indulge in bad behaviour like flinging food, spitting food to seek attention. If the bad behaviour gets a child attention, he may repeat it. It may be best to try and ignore bad behaviour.
What You Can Teach
From the time your toddler starts eating solids, ensure that he sits and eats properly. Constantly reinforce the idea of sitting at the table each and every time they eat. You can let him leave the table once he is done eating.
Try and involve your toddler during mealtimes by eating together as a family. This will give him the feeling that he is also a part of the family and mealtimes mean family time.
You can help your toddler wash his hands before the family sits down to eat. He may get habituated to do so as he grows up.
You can also try teaching your baby that throwing food, banging utensils, spitting food, screaming during mealtimes is unacceptable behaviour.
What You Can Expect
Certain things that you can expect your toddler to do while eating include:
Talking with a mouthful
Reaching over to grab food from other’s plates
Improper use of cutlery
Preschoolers
Preschoolers can be fussy and slow eaters and are prone to throwing tantrums. But a preschooler usually has more attention span than a toddler and can be better at following instructions. The best way to inculcate good table manners for kindergarteners can be by making them practise. It is important to explain to preschoolers what is expected of them at the table. Praise and encourage them when they behave well and cue them when they tend to slip. You may have to patiently remind them repeatedly.
Refrain from labelling a child when he tends to be sloppy or makes a mistake at the table. Instead, offer him a practical solution or advice. For example, if your child drops food on his clothes while eating, simply give him a napkin and explain its use to him.
What You Can Teach
You can teach preschoolers to:
Properly sit at the table without squirming, wriggling or wandering around.
To patiently wait till everyone is seated at the table and have helped themselves before start eating.
The right way to use a napkin, how to place it on the lap before starting a meal, how to use it to wipe the mouth and so on.
To take small bites and eat with his mouth closed and not to talk while he has a mouthful.
To use polite words, like ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ while interacting with people at the table.
What You Can Expect
You can expect the following from your preschooler:
He may make a mess while eating
He may forget to follow the good manners while sitting at the table
Kids
Older kids are better equipped to understand the rules that they are expected to follow. They may realise how their actions can affect others and why manners are important. You can offer reasonable explanations to your child and tell him why he should adhere to the rules at the table and follow it up with rational consequences in case he refuses to observe them. For example, you can teach him that he won’t get a second helping of his favourite dessert unless he learns to ask politely or if his behaviour is inappropriate at the table.
What You Can Teach
Older kids already know basic table manners. But there are certain things you can teach them. Such as:
Proper use of the cutlery, how to use a fork and knife, the right choice of cutlery when faced with options like a smaller spoon for dessert, a soup spoon for soup, and so on.
The art of making pleasant conversation at the table. Encourage him to compliment the food and teach him not to say something hurtful if he didn’t like the food.
Laying the table with a proper placing of cutlery and clearing the table after the meals.
How to properly serve and pass the food around the table without reaching over or being in someone’s face.
Not to carry their tabs, cell phones or other gadgets to the table.
What You Can Expect
Though kids at this stage are pretty clued in the lessons of good table manners, you can’t expect them to be perfect. Their can be times when your child may forget his manners or simply refuse to comply with the rules.
Your child may encounter situations he may not be yet ready to tackle like a formal party or a fancy wedding reception with complicated tableware.
You can’t expect the lessons in table etiquette for children to be over at this step. You may have to keep motivating your child to imbibe good table manners.
A family dinner must not be converted into some sort of a lecture or lesson on good table manners. Refrain from making mealtimes stressful for kids. Rather mealtimes should be family’s quality time together where family members can relax and share their day’s happenings and discuss other topics. Keep a balance between teaching kids good table manners and also making mealtimes fun and pleasurable for them.
Also Read: List of Good Manners for Children
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