Firstcry Parenting
Parenting Firstcry

Living with In Laws!

khushboo Mom of a 8 yr 4 m old boy 5 months ago
coustoms are sometimes good to follow
Community User 5 months ago
Have anyone wonder how the husband handle this situation ? Whose side he should take .
Subha Baskey Guardian of 3 children 5 months ago
if it is for custom, I don't support. people should be willing to stay together. every individual is different but the willingness to accept including their flaws is the key to this set up. staying with parents is great if they understand that they do not have the right to boss and vice versa. if this is even, this setting can be incomparable!
Neha Tabassum Mom of 2 children 5 months ago
living with in- laws after marriage is a custom but living with a joint family with laws is a great happiness we ever have.....😀😀
Danish Ali Father of a 3 yr 10 m old girl 5 months ago
i prefer nuclear family after many many you have your own life and decisions to live
shifa Mom of 3 children 5 months ago
I preferred to be in joint family... but from child hood I have a small family.
Geetha Mom of a 5 yr 1 m old girl 6 months ago
I always thought it to be blessing before marriage but after marriage I do understand why there is so much stigma around daughter and mother in law. my mother in law has kept her unmarried three daughters in our house. initially I thought it will be nice but after marriage when they started interfering in everything and not even allowing us to have one meal together. We two rarely go out, but if we do they call my husband within an hour saying food is ready, tea is ready, etc.
it does starts here. I am a working woman like her daughter's. But I cook for everybody in the morning in kitchen and her daughter's wake up, have tea sitting in sofa chatting with their parents and I hardly get any time to brush my teeth let alone sit and have cup of tea in peace.
My all three sister in law's are in jeans 24 by 7.. but I am not supposed to wear jeans. During my first sister in law groom searching process, they put her photos in jeans in matrimonial sites. When they don't their daughter in law to not wear jeans, how other families into whom thei daughter will get married will see her wearing jeans photos.
Her daughter's can go abroad all alone or afterarriage but they cannt stay alone in other city in India other than where we are staying. My MIL gives me lectures about girls safety for not staying in other cities. But I ask how safe are her daughter s abroad?
My MIL cried in front of eveybody that they are becoming old and not yet seen her grandparents whole her three young daughters of age 31, 28,25 are sitting right in front of her. They became old to see grandparents but not to get her 3 daughters married?
She searches for her daughter a house where there is not much responsiblilitu and sister in law's and mother in-law, but for me she tells that I should adjust with everybody.
After 8 yrs of marraige never had one day of privacy and to my agony I have done love marriage against my parents wishes. My parents agreed at the last minute but they fought for me like hell,but what do I say if you gotta go down you go down no matter.
At the age of 30, my mother in law lectures me about running out of time to conceive but she is not ready to get her daughter married at the age of 31.
3 yrs back my first sister in law married but her husband stays same city as us and every festival every other day my husband has to run to their house to give th something. Now when my second sister in law turned 31 they are seraching groom for her. her condition is that she wants only abroad grooms.. wooooow and everybody agreed to it..haha wher is the age factor now? specially with this covid pandemic going on not sure how much abroad grooms are travelling to India.. is it really marriage or just another tactic to postpone marriage.

My husband is fully in awe of his mother because she talks so politely but everything lies in the back and how she lifts her three daughters up and make my husband agree for anything they ask.

Pandemic has taken so much from so many people but for me it has given something which I never thought was possible i.e. privacy, feel at home, my fredom at home because my sister in law's have gone to their native to stay with their parents. That too those girls didn't wanted to go.. but since mother in law health was going down in lockdown of March 2020 and we cpuld not travel as we have 3 yr old so in other choice he sent them. I am enjoying my house my privacy since that day though it's not complete because the scar of those 6 yrs still remain ine and my husband and I can see all their things scattered across my house.
Arpeta Gupta Mom of a 10 m old girl 5 months ago
Whether a custom is right or wrong... or accompanied with few issues it all depends on person to person.. there could be multiple scenarios and on the basis of which anyone could say whether it is good for them or not.. It's so obvious that if everyone is suffering on the house and there is no such peach in the house then there will be no point of living in the same roof... after all home is the only place where anyone can get peace at their will... In India also.. people are changing their mindset about daughter in laws and treat them good but this percentage still is very less... I would say 10-15% only. In most of the houses still daughter in law suffers in many ways... I personally know few cases where girls are literally living in hell... If the question is about the issues they face in inlaw house... I can summarize it -
- The household work is all comes to daughter in law whether she is working or not... Household work is not a big deal but if only one person is doing on behalf of everyone even other persons cabale of doing their chores... then it's not a good practice... Even if daughter in law is sick or pregnant even though people don't have mercy...
- The taunts they have to listen for everything but can't reply on that because everytime it comes on.. maa baap ne yahi sikhaya hai... they say that... hum to beti bana k laye hai... but looks like betiyan apne ghar mei gungi hoti hai... funny thing but that's true... Sanskaar k naam pe kuch bhi bol sakte hai... but daughter in law kuch nhi... bhai inlaws ko sanskaar ki training nhi milti kya...
-They even don't respect his sons personal life as well... and not forget to interfere in between their relationship especially with wife... because how their son treat her in a good way... so they have to tell his son like how he should treat her wife... looks like they forgot to teach him this basic etiquette in childhood and teaching him only when he gets married and 30 years old now...
- You pota poti chaiye... and few house mei to only pota chahiye hota hai... but his son can't do any chores of his only son or daughter... how he can?? I mean what a stupidity is this... why he can't.. he is the father...
- They don't allow their sons in the kitchen... I mean food is necessity for life... this is important for everyone so cooking so... it's not a women's job only...
- I saw in most of the houses boys come in the home just they came in the hotel... just to sleep and watching TV and eating a lot.... and they have other females on the house round the clock for all their work- like Laundry, ironing, cooking, dish cleaning, house cleaning, baby sitter, parents care taker... I mean for every basic work a boy needs a girl named wife.... how dependent person he is... if no girl remains in this world then next day these men's will die automatically...
Thank God.. they bath and get ready, brush their teeth and cleaning their shit with themselves at least... otherwise they would need a helper for that also....

The bad thing is that a women is a reason for a women sorrows... because a mother didn't raised her son well that's why a mother who raised her daughter well.... even though her daughter needs to suffer... it's not because of his son it's because of his mother... who did everything for his son due to affection but forgot that to make him independent for basic things in life...
Now a days in India... women's are working and taking care of house finance and her own exenses as well...
There are still women's who do not want to do any earnings and choose to take care of house.. for those it's ok because they choose and they decided in mutual to run the family that one will earn and other will take care of family and give time to them... so if it's mutual between husband and wife... then it will work for them..
Problems arise generally.. where couples decided to earn together and work together in house... taking care together.. and it's a good idea for them and it's workable for them but inlaws don't like this and this create issues with inlaws and in couples relationship also...
There are many cases where they bring daughter in law by saying yes we don't have any issue if she work etc but after marriage they force girls to leave their jobs and manage only house and kids.... so clatches and relationship breaks is so obvious.....

I have written all these points because I personally and few my close known gone through this.... so no hard feelings for anyone....

I already mentioned... that people are changing.. and there are few goods family also who support in a good way... I know those families as well.... Thanks..

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