Firstcry Parenting
Parenting Firstcry

Living with In Laws!

Issues that matter Women & Society
Living with In Laws!
Living with in-laws after marriage is a custom that Indian women have to follow even today! While it may work out well for some women, there are plenty of issues that may arise. Sometimes it is difficult to find privacy & your personal space in a joint family. What do you think? Share your views on it.
10 Comments
Neha jha Mom of a 2 yr 7 m old girl 1 Year ago
Yes very true that it is a custom. But why don't they (in- laws) understand that if a girl is entering her in laws house leaving everything everyone behind, she also need little care and pampering because she is the one who will be your support when you are in need.
The fact that they wanted to look strict in front of the society and wants to take command (even though they think of this in different manner for their own daughter, they wanted a good and caring family for her... why don't they become one first)
some things which in-laws used to say:
1. Prepare food according to my style (no matter how much you are aware of it even if you can prepare tasty food)
2. Don't wear this or that... only wear this otherwise society will scold me ( even though society is busy is there own matter)
3. Your parents don't teach you this at home ( how much you teach your daughter ?..... my parents understands me more than you do)
4. you are teaching my son to behave bad with me ( Your son is not a baby in diaper)
5. Touch feet when anyone is coming to our home and cover your silly face ( why all are coming to judge me am I showpiece ?)
6. you should only work at home because you are giving money to your parents ( who are you to say no to my work and judge me on the basis of society's observation)
7. you don't know anything about our culture, you are bad you should work more and stop reply me back. you are shameless your parents didn't scold you for answering back ( Then you also have a daughter teach her politeness as she will also go to in-laws house one time)

In brackets there are words which we think In mind but will never be able to tell in front.

But be positive and try to isolate yourself from this type of people.
9 Likes 2 Replies
MomToBe Mom of 2 children 1 Year ago
it has its own pros and cons
i don't have to cook and do other household stuff .
I get to eat home-cooked food , no need to bother k I have to cook . I am working expecting mother, I sit in my room and work ( even if I took off from office I won't let my in laws know about it , unless I have to go out ).

Yes cons , my in-laws family is quite orthodox.. I usually get to her from my mil about k ladka hoga and some totka that she is hearing from her mother since childhood.. But yeah I had to speak for my own rights my own wish, my life and my baby's gender ..

better is to take rest in your room and talk less ..
5 Likes
BELI SARMAH Guardian of a 1 yr 6 m old boy 8 months ago
living with in-laws are not our enimies.They guide us in every aspect of our life.In need ,others are not solving your problems ,it is our family members who have help us.sometimes issue are happened,also solved very quickly.If you accept your family wholeheartedly, definitely they will respect and love u.if ego, selfish nature,proud is there then relation does not works.karma plays its own role.jaisa hum bowenge woise he katenge.
Mamta Dhiman Mom of a 1 yr 8 m old boy 1 Year ago
In crona situation , We have to live with inlaws joint family.They are good but
1.there is no space for your personal life and opinion.
2.Mental health is affected
3. You can't live freely
4. Cant do the things we use to do when live separate
5.Most annoying is back stabbing
6. cant buy the things with freedom,we need to tell them we are buying this that and have to show them
7. can't eat together
8. Cant take care of child properly
9. before speaking we need to make sure it wont hurt them(In short keep quite)
10.most important thing is mental health which is most affected and there is no peace
29 Likes 5 Replies
Meenakshi Guardian of a 4 yr 2 m old girl 9 months ago
why Bahu can't eat of her choice n live n work (professional) as per her choice. she is treated like an object in corner of the house, pathetic
1 Like
pushkaraj Guardian of 6 children 10 months ago
nice
shweta sirohi Guardian of 2 children 1 Year ago
Yes it's a custom and when a girl enters to her in-laws house she gives her best to make them happy because she doesn't want to take any blame on herself, but also she expects some respect, love from her husband and a place in their family but if they still doesn't want to accept her as a family member and hide everything from her and talk behind her back, prefer to talk to their son in absence of their daughter in law, then nothing can be done. In that situation separation is the only way to be happy. my mother in law supported my husband's extra marital affair and it was just 20th day of my marriage when I got to know all that, i was crying badly and she says, "to kya hua agar ye aisa kar rha h sabhi bahar muh marte hain, mere sath chal mei dikhati hu tujhe ro kar drama mat kar, and can you people believe I got fainted because I was pregnant and I didn't know that. when I got to know I am pregnant I was not happy but shocked because of the situation. my baby is 23 moths old now but when I remember all that now I still get tears. She tortured me alot for two years. My husband never listened to me because he respect his mother alot. Even when my baby was born she took him from me and said," jaise mera man karega waise palungi ise tu mere pote se dur rah" I couldn't do anything for my baby of my choice.. Anyways, list is too long, and please the people who says,"Girls ko apni mother in law ko as a mother pyar or respect krna chahiye" must read my story. Now after 2.5 years of my marriage we got separated when my husband realized I was right and she did wrong to me, my husband is nice to me now and doesn't have anyone in his life except me but I still can't forget all that and I am still depressed. Thank you
2 Likes
Bina biswal Mom of 2 children 11 months ago
living with in-laws is definitely a custom that we Indians have been following since years.with time lots of things have changed but the typical thought process that is associated with in-laws have not changed and same thing goes with the thought process that in-laws possess for a daughter in law .we have to understand that two different individuals living in two distant and distinct places and brought up by different individuals in different cultures can not be compared.Its foolish of us to compare ..Its acceptance that does wonders and comparison kills the budding relationship.love,respect and accept each other,life will be wonderful together.
Deepika Diwan Mom of 2 children 11 months ago
It's good
Ankita Doshi Mom of 2 children 11 months ago
it is good to live with inlaws... they r great support for us in all d things happening in life
ADD NEW COMMENT TO THIS POST
Living with In Laws!
Living with in-laws after marriage is a custom that Indian women have to follow even today! While it may work out well for some women, there are plenty of issues that may arise. Sometimes it is difficult to find privacy & your personal space in a joint family. What do you think? Share your views on it.

Post

Post

Post Anonymously
ADD NEW REPLY TO THIS COMMENT

Post

Post

Post Anonymously