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Living with In Laws!

Issues that matter Women & Society
Living with In Laws!
Living with in-laws after marriage is a custom that Indian women have to follow even today! While it may work out well for some women, there are plenty of issues that may arise. Sometimes it is difficult to find privacy & your personal space in a joint family. What do you think? Share your views on it.
Chesta Guardian of a 1 m old boy 1 month ago
family makes happiness and it's great to be with our parents we get to know lot of things through this
Community User 10 months ago
See the topic is "living with In Laws". This could be applied to both men and women. but, in our indian tradition it applies only to women. only women have to live and adjust with in laws. men won't. No matter how independent the woman is. she might have her own house, every single thing she might have bought and made by her own. Still, In laws come to her house and they start living with her. permanently. Everything finish.
and From here, worst things start.
Your husband won't be yours now. he will take side of his parents, blindly, during any arguments.
you have to share everything with your in laws. Your time, your energy, your home, your husband and offcourse your own baby.
They will show their full right on everything and everyone. but, they won't consider you as their own. They won't even consider you as a human being.
They will do nothing at home, sit ideally and just want to play with your child and will expect from you to do household chores (yes offcourse, after you come from office).
you don't have any right to raise your baby by your own way. they will try to raise your baby by their way and will always point out mistakes saying this should not be done, that should not be done.
they will do it in a manner that one day your husband will also come to you and will say you are not a good mother at all.
they will interfere in all your deeds and will hide everything from you which is related to their daughters and relatives and everyone around them.
You don't have any privacy.
wherever you go, you have to inform them. but, wherever they will go, they won't feel necessary to inform you.
When you take your baby to your room, they will say about you that she is always sitting in her room and not getting mixed up with them. So, you start sitting with them, and they will only play with your baby and talk with your husband. you just have to sit there, give your baby to them and show everyone your smile. You have to say 'yes' in whatever they say. you don't have to argue on anything. if you do, you are not a 'Sanskari'.

all these and many more adjustments. still your husband would say one day that what are you doing exactly for him and his parents, if you are loving him. you are not always ready to sacrifice.

Many a times you think what is the purpose of living with in laws. they dont love you, they dont respect you. they dont consider u their family, they wont even consider you a good human being. all these things, slowly, over the period of time, your husband would also start to say to you. your relationship with your husband gets ruined. your baby was also always with them. in your own home, you are like outsider. they live like a team who meet often secretely (behind you) and agenda of the meeting is what this girl did and what not. what she was supposed to do (as per them) and what she did not do. they discuss and your husband nods them in agreement and after 2, 3 days or so, he will fight with you with all those points, which he has been taught from them.

now, can please anyone tell me, what is the purpose of living with in-laws. your home is not your home, your hsuband is not your own, your baby is also their's.
you cant live separately from your husband, bcz again so called society will throw arguments on you and will blame you that you couldnt adjusted with them. You also cant live with them together, bcz they will always treat you as an outsider. you have been stuck in a web from where you cannot come outside. can never come. you are stuck there forever.
8 Likes 3 Replies
Sayani Guardian of a 5 m old girl 1 month ago
absolutely true
deepthi.M Expecting Mom due in 6 months 1 month ago
it was never smooth for me. as my mother went surgery expected same love and kindness from mil. unfortunately went in vain. lucky that she gave birth to son who gave better care than her.
Nadeem Khan Father of 3 children 2 months ago
living with in laws is our good luck
Bhaveshwari Gami 2 months ago
little angel 😇
Pooja Gandhi Mom of 2 children 3 months ago
very true
Neha jha Mom of a 2 yr 4 m old girl 11 months ago
Yes very true that it is a custom. But why don't they (in- laws) understand that if a girl is entering her in laws house leaving everything everyone behind, she also need little care and pampering because she is the one who will be your support when you are in need.
The fact that they wanted to look strict in front of the society and wants to take command (even though they think of this in different manner for their own daughter, they wanted a good and caring family for her... why don't they become one first)
some things which in-laws used to say:
1. Prepare food according to my style (no matter how much you are aware of it even if you can prepare tasty food)
2. Don't wear this or that... only wear this otherwise society will scold me ( even though society is busy is there own matter)
3. Your parents don't teach you this at home ( how much you teach your daughter ?..... my parents understands me more than you do)
4. you are teaching my son to behave bad with me ( Your son is not a baby in diaper)
5. Touch feet when anyone is coming to our home and cover your silly face ( why all are coming to judge me am I showpiece ?)
6. you should only work at home because you are giving money to your parents ( who are you to say no to my work and judge me on the basis of society's observation)
7. you don't know anything about our culture, you are bad you should work more and stop reply me back. you are shameless your parents didn't scold you for answering back ( Then you also have a daughter teach her politeness as she will also go to in-laws house one time)

In brackets there are words which we think In mind but will never be able to tell in front.

But be positive and try to isolate yourself from this type of people.
9 Likes 2 Replies
MomToBe Mom of 2 children 12 months ago
it has its own pros and cons
i don't have to cook and do other household stuff .
I get to eat home-cooked food , no need to bother k I have to cook . I am working expecting mother, I sit in my room and work ( even if I took off from office I won't let my in laws know about it , unless I have to go out ).

Yes cons , my in-laws family is quite orthodox.. I usually get to her from my mil about k ladka hoga and some totka that she is hearing from her mother since childhood.. But yeah I had to speak for my own rights my own wish, my life and my baby's gender ..

better is to take rest in your room and talk less ..
BELI SARMAH Guardian of a 1 yr 4 m old boy 6 months ago
living with in-laws are not our enimies.They guide us in every aspect of our life.In need ,others are not solving your problems ,it is our family members who have help us.sometimes issue are happened,also solved very quickly.If you accept your family wholeheartedly, definitely they will respect and love u.if ego, selfish nature,proud is there then relation does not works.karma plays its own role.jaisa hum bowenge woise he katenge.
Living with In Laws!
Living with in-laws after marriage is a custom that Indian women have to follow even today! While it may work out well for some women, there are plenty of issues that may arise. Sometimes it is difficult to find privacy & your personal space in a joint family. What do you think? Share your views on it.



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