We all know mean, sadistic people – the ones who don’t really do a great job of hiding their true colours as people who love causing pain to others. They hurt people in their lives outright with their words and actions, and since their actions are so obviously hurtful, cutting them out of your life won’t really make you feel incredibly guilty. But then there are another set of people; they aren’t really brandishing brickbats at you every time you’re in their company, but you can’t help but feel your positivity and confidence dip when they’re around. Such people are also equally toxic, and you need to cut ties with the lot for your own sake!
What Difference Will It Make Though?
A world of difference! When we preach about health, we often ignore our mental well-being, a crucial aspect of maintaining a healthy life. When you’re surrounded by toxic people, it drains you of energy and brings down your happiness and confidence. It makes you constantly doubt yourself and your capabilities, makes you feel anxious and exhausted, and we’re sure you can already think of a few people in your life who make you feel this way. It’s worse when it’s someone in your family or a close friend you truly value; but at one point, you have to ask yourself this – what’s more valuable, your happiness or how they make you feel?
There lies your answer.
Types of People You Need to Cut Out of Your Life
Here are a bunch of people that deserve the metaphorical axe!
1. The Mean One
Plain and simple, this kind of person is always out to get you with snide or mean-spirited remarks, pointing out your flaws, and unkind to a fault! If speaking up about how you feel has made no difference, then there’s no question as to why this person needs to leave your life; you deserve so much better – people who raise you up and believe in you, and make you feel like there’s nothing you cannot achieve!
2. The Controlling One
You’re a wonderful soul, and of course, the people in your life love you…but does someone love you a tad too much, to the extent that the thought of you spending time with others bothers them unbearably? They need to know where you are at all points, whom you’re with, what you’re doing; such that it crosses the point of concern and borders on possessiveness. While you can be someone’s friend or partner, you also are an individual with your own space and time that needs to be respected. If someone tries to overstep their boundaries and put a leash on your freedom, then you’re dealing with someone toxic, and should take a step back from the relationship immediately!
3. The Constant Critic
You’re not flawless, no one is. You’re bound to make a few mistakes; but unless those mistakes are immensely critical or occur too often to be excused, constant criticism shouldn’t be something you should put up with. If you know someone who keeps bashing you for the littlest of things that don’t really call for an uproar, and doing so frequently, without the aim of it being to actually help you, it’s time for you to evaluate whether they actually deserve a place in your life. If the person, in their heart of hearts, wishes for your betterment, they’ll understand when you speak to them where they’re going wrong and will take steps to make things better. If you see a negative reaction followed by more destructive criticism, chances are that this person is lacking in self-esteem and takes out their jealousy by bringing people around them down, i.e. time to say goodbye!
4. The Crusher
“I’m right, because I’m right!” – know anyone with this attitude? Such people consider themselves the smartest in the group (sometimes rightfully so, but most times, not so much!) and are always up for an argument. They believe that their opinions matter more than others’, to the point that letting someone else present another side of a situation sits unpleasantly with them. It’s quite exhausting to deal with the ‘Crusher’ because in most cases, that’s exactly what they do – crush your spirits, make you doubt yourself, and render any conversation pointless. Well, unless that’s exactly what you’re looking for in a friend or a partner, this person shouldn’t be crushing your spirits anymore!
5. The Unaccountable One
The right thing to do when you make a mistake is to own up and accept your fault, instead of placing the blame on others, right? You would think that’s not a hard concept to understand, except, there are people who never see their mistakes as their own! Nope; it was either the person who was involved with them in the same situation or the situation itself, if there is no one to place the blame on. Someone who doesn’t take responsibility for their own actions can’t be trusted entirely; for all you know, you may end up on the receiving side of their blame someday, for something that wasn’t even your fault!
6. The Epicenter of Negativity
It’s not easy staying positive all the time when you’re busy keeping up with different parts of your personal and professional life. Facing everything with a smile can be challenging – more so, when there is a particular someone who manages to put a negative spin on every matter! It could be a family member who keeps complaining about trivial problems, a friend who never seems to have a good word to say about anything or anyone, or someone who always seems to be suspicious of things around them. Their words can bog you down, make you feel unnecessarily guilty, or just plain irritated, especially when you have your own troubles to deal with. Being kind enough to listen to your loved ones’ problems and helping them out should not give them the excuse to use you as a free therapist always, unless you’re truly up for it. In any case, checking in with someone, asking them whether they would be comfortable with you dishing out your problems is the most courteous thing to do. But if such a person is draining you of your positive energy, it would do you good to take a break from the relationship.
You’re not always going to be extremely comfortable with completely cutting someone off from your life, especially if the person in question is quite dear to you. All the same, it’s important to note that your feelings, your spirit, and your mental health should be respected by others as well. You can always renew ties with these people if they understand that your mental health and need for positivity is equally important. This would require communication between you and the person concerned, and arriving at a solution that would help both of you out.
But if even that yields no favourable results, cutting ties with the person is the most ethical thing you can do, mainly for yourself. It’s important that you don’t feel guilty or beat yourself up over ‘being selfish’; remember, at the end of the day, your happiness is of your own making. And if surrounding yourself with positive, warm, happy, and loving people is also a viable option, why wouldn’t you choose that for yourself!