This New Year Resolve Those Long Pending Family Feuds – Here’s How
Family feuds are bitter battles that arise one day with a loud burst of anger and linger (in silence) for years. Family quarrels are unexpected and undesirable, but they do exist. It is said that we fight with those whom we love the most, and it could not be truer. If there is a person(s) in your family with whom you argued last year for a silly reason and are still not on talking terms with him, whom do you think it is affecting the most?
The answer is – your family members. It is not your lack of love for a person that makes you fight with someone, but your ego that makes you believe that the other conspired against you. It’s time you let go of your ego & resolve those long-standing conflicts with your dear ones. This new year, let your one resolution be to resolve family feuds.
6 Ways to Resolve Family Conflicts
No matter how much you fight with your loved ones, they will be the ones that are always there (supporting you) in your hardest times. So, give up your bitter attitude and mend those imaginary walls that are keeping you from enjoying your life with your family.
1. Discuss the Problem
You might remember the exact month and year you quarrelled with your loved one, but do you know why that is? It’s because since that day, you’ve been wishing if only you had handled the situation differently (and graciously discussed the problem), things would have been different. If you’re honest with yourself, you don’t even remember why you argued in the first place, right? So, why are you still holding onto that grudge?
Get to the root cause of the problem; discuss it and be honest while talking about it. Once you determine the cause of the problem, you can always look for solutions. Tell them what you didn’t approve of and ask the other person about the same. If you talk politely and quit proving that you’re always right, there’s nothing that you two can’t overcome. It’s okay to argue once in a while, but do not let one argument end the fun and carefree relationship that you’ve shared with your loved one for years. This New Year, clear the air!
2. Talk Less and Listen More
One of the reasons for arguments and disagreements (yes, even the silliest of ones) today is that we talk more and listen less. To prove ourselves right, we raise our voices and impose our viewpoints on others, and as a result, we lose the respect of people valuable to us. If you believe that you’ve also done the same, take a step forward and communicate with the people you argued with. However, this time, try to be a good listener. Let the other person voice their opinion. Try this approach once, and your disagreements and arguments will never become ugly. Moreover, remember that listening does not make you any less of a person, it shows that you respect others’ opinions as well.
3. Think About Other Family Members
When two people fight in a family, it somehow divides a family. For example, when you argue with your sibling, it affects your parents because you expect them to take sides. Do you possibly expect them to go through a phase where they’d have to choose between one of their kids? No! Your conflicts should never ruin the peace of your family. Your family doesn’t deserve it. So, if you’ve fought with one of your loved ones, think what your family must be going through. You’ll realise that it’s not all about you or the person you fought with.
4. Learn to Forgive
One of the best ways to clear the rift with your family members is by forgiving and forgetting. Yes, when it’s your family, you need to learn to forget as well because rehashing the argument in your mind or holding on to grudges will eat you up and keep you from getting on with your life. Be the bigger person and forgive your family member(s), even if you think you’re right. Remember that all families have problems; it’s how they deal with them makes them a unit (or else everyone would end up living alone). So, make the first move, forgive and forget the past, and live as a FAMILY.
We hardly give a thought to what we say in moments of anger. If you argued with your family members, there are chances that you might have said something that you never intended to say, and now you must be regretting them. Your regret is a good sign because it shows that you care about the people in your family. Be accountable for your words and actions, and apologise. Say that you’re sorry and mean it. Sorry is a simple word, but it can solve years of problems, so say it – it’s not that hard.
6. Begin Again
One of the ways to solve family feuds is by starting over. It’s okay if you argue or disagree; make sure that it doesn’t come to a point where it affects you as a family. If you desire to live with your loved ones always, learn to let go of little things. Prioritise your family – you’ll learn to compromise and look past trivial quarrels. If you argued with your family members one day, don’t continue with it the next day – it’s that simple! Spend time with them, watch a movie, or cook something together. Appreciate the little things that you do together because at the end of the day, life’s too short to miss out on good times.
Every family has problems. There will be conflicts, disagreements, arguments, and tears, but at the same time, there is love for each other. How you deal with family feuds will define you as a person – so make it a point to resolve family feuds before you reach a point where you cannot live together. It’s never too late to make things right. Trust us, it’s worth the effort in the longer run.