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Mother-in-law! How does the word make you feel? Happy, scared, irritated, angry, anxious, nervous or a mix of all this? Your MIL may be the sweetest human being on the planet, but as per unofficial statistics, 81.5% women have some or the other worries about their MILs! These start before they get married and the mother in law problems continue for ever and ever!
Jokes aside, we are a culture that has always seen in-laws in a light of respect, obedience, but also some dread. Can the MIL ever be like your own mother? How should you talk to her and how should you not? Times may have changed, but trust us, there are some things that are still best left unsaid to an Indian saasu ma.
We spoke to moms around us and put together this list of things you should avoid saying to your mother-in-law.
Unwise Things to Say to Your Mother in Law
Disclaimer: The points mentioned in this article are meant in jest and not intended to offend anyone. Much love to mothers-in-law; we may fight with them, criticise them, and tell tales about them, but most of us know deep within – they will be there for us when we need them.
1. I’m Thinking of Going to My Parents’ Home
You mean maayka? Didn’t you know your husband’s house is now your house, and that family you grew up with for some twenty years is now paraaya (stranger). It’s another story that your sister-in-law keeps coming to visit every now and then and even stays for as long as a month. But she’s the daughter of the house; you are the daughter-in-law. Why one earth would YOU want to visit your parent’s home?
Tip: Many of us have experienced – some MILs are happy to let us go when they feel we don’t really want to. So, next time you’re planning on going, don’t look too interested, or just suggest that you’d rather go another time. Chances are, she will give you ‘permission’!
2. Could I Wear a Dress to the Function?
Why? Where are all your sarees and salwar kameez? Good Indian bahus don’t wear Western clothes to functions. Even actresses like Priyanka Chopra are criticised for wearing dresses when they go for functions like meeting important people.
3. I’m Not Ready to Have a Baby Yet
Listen, it’s very important to do everything according to the right age. There is a right age to get married, to have children, to live, and to die. If you delay pregnancy so much, your body will give up and then how will your in-laws get their waaris (heir)?
4. I’m Not Good at Cooking; Can I Keep a Maid?
Wait, you are a housewife, right? Why does a housewife need a maid? Even working women need to cook for their family; it is their prime resposnibility. Didn’t your mother teach you how to cook?
Many MILs can competently whip up 7-course-meals from starters to desserts, so this one will have her totally judging you.
5. My Mom Never Cooked It Like That…
Oh, it gets worse and worse! When you move into a new family, the new methods and lifestyles are what you need to adopt. So, if your mother added onions to the oil first and your MIL adds garlic first, you know whose rule holds ground. Talking about this is a leading source of conflict with mother in law, fellow moms report!
6. These Saas-Bahu Serials Are Such a Waste of Time
Excuse us, but they are NOT! If they were a waste of time, would they be running for years and years? Would every MIL know the serial theme song, when it played, and when the reruns were? These serials with their fantastic storylines, amazing fashion tips, and larger than life characters are what Indian culture and good bahus are all about. Oh yes, good saas too.
7. I Think That Saree Looks a Bit Tacky
Haww, did you even know that saree your MIL picked out for the wedding, or gave you as a gift, was modelled from a saas bahu serial? Those shows are ace when it comes to fashion sense, and if you find it tacky, there has to be some deficit in your perception as far as fashion is concerned. To avoid mother in law trouble, simple solution would be to steer clear of such fashion talk.
8. I Really Miss My Family…
So, you’re unhappy in your husband’s house? Your in-laws mistreat you? No? Then there is no legit reason for missing your family! This is a common sentiment especially in a controlling mother in law.
9. I Will Raise My Baby The Way I Like
Your MIL has a lot of experience of raising kids. Her kid is now your husband and what a fine man he is! That said, it is a distant dream if you think you’ll raise your baby minus interference and mother in law advice. Unless, of course, if you are among the lucky few whose MILs are helpful without being overbearing. A lot of us simply end up in awkward positions when we can neither accept nor refuse what our MIL has to suggest for the baby – from nappies to first foods.
10. I Understand What My Husband Wants
This one is extremely delicate. So, of course you know your husband, but can you know him better than the one who gave him birth, potty trained him, saw him through schooling and college, and consented to marry him off? Whatever the answer to that is, it really is best not to challenge authorities on this one. Let your husband bask in the glory of love from both the lovely ladies in his life!
Have you said any of these things to your MIL yet? We bet you have – some of them cannot really be avoided, no? While some of us are blessed to have MILs who see us just as their own daughters, others have a hard time figuring out how to deal with mother in law issues.