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We can express our affection towards our spouses in several little ways – packing their lunch without fail every day, leaving small reminders for important things, messaging them in the middle of work to ask if they’re okay, etc. Another really important way of showing your love and affection for your partner is through physical touch – the hugs, the stolen kisses, and the intimate moments you have with them in the privacy of your bedroom.
We all know that touching someone to let them know you care can be an exhilirating and exciting experience, but this is also where a lot of us choose to let our insecurities and inhibitions get the better of us. To add to this, the hush-hush around physical intimacy means that we often don’t know whom to turn to for our concerns, and end up carrying them into bed with our partners. Well, not anymore.
6 Bedroom Insecurities You Must Leave Behind
A marriage can go from good to great when both partners let down their guard. It can be difficult to do that sometimes, even if the person is your partner, but taking the leap of faith can open another beautiful door for your relationship.
If you do these 6 things in the bedroom, it’s time to put them to a stop:
1. Not communicating
A lot of us tend to be shy when baring ourselves to our partners, and this sometimes ends with us not communicating what we really want for our pleasure. It’s important to remember that your partner is not a mind reader – communicate lovingly about what you want from them. If you want them to do something, let them know. Don’t be afraid to guide your partner so they know how to pleasure themselves and you better. This way, both you and your spouse will have the time of your life, and grow closer.
2. Feeling conscious of your body
You may have recently brought a life into this world – here come the stretch marks, weight gain, and skin pigmentation. Who cares! Surely, your partner doesn’t. Whether or not you’ve given birth, you and your partner married each other for your hearts and minds. You love each other for qualities that extend beyond physical ones. So, stop worrying about the jiggly thighs, the bulging tummy, the scars and the little marks. Don’t hesitate to leave the lights on and really look at your partner, and allow them to look at you too. A lot of couples say these small changes make a world of a difference in their sex life. It can also deepen your bond with your partner.
3. Fear of being judged
A lot of times, sex can get monotonous with the same person, and added stress of work-life balance can aggravate the feeling. Most often, couples tend to hit a rough patch around their 4th or 7th year of marriage (called the ‘7 year itch’), and one of the grievances can be the lack of excitemeLnt in the bedroom. Sometimes couples are afraid of asking for change in the routine, especially when one partner has been hiding their true desire to try something unusual. The fear of judgement gets in the way of a happy married life, and the best way to stop that from happening is to be open about what you want. It might be a bit different, but it won’t hurt to try (with enthusiastic consent, of course) – it might just cure the itch!
4. Feeling pressured to do something
This one’s important! In intimate settings, the lines between ‘yes’ and ‘no’ are sometimes blurred; it could be ‘yes’ to something and ‘no’ to another thing that happens immediately after. It’s important to remember that consent is at the heart of true intimacy, and a good relationship is built on it. In quite a lot of cases, women in the marriage can feel pressured to do something because of social conditioning, which can have serious mental and emotional consequences. In any case, if you feel your partner is coaxing you a bit too much to try something you are 100% not on board with, express yourself clearly. In situations where you feel you are unsure about it at that point but you may be open to it in the future, let your partner know that you will say yes when the time is right. If your partner loves you, they will respect you and not pressure you to comply.
5. Not experimenting (if you really want to)
Our desires and fantasies sometimes stay in our minds forever. There may not be anything wrong with them, but we feel shy or awkward discussing them because we feel shame around it. It’s time to let that shame go! The bedroom is the one place where you and your partner are physically one, and the ways to get pleasure are endless. Next time, communicate that you want to try something different with your partner. Tell them that you have been curious, and you would want them to be a part of the journey that would lead to pleasure, for both of you. You can then experiment in several ways and watch your bond grow more intense.
6. Not being vulnerable with your partner
There is nothing more intimate than communicating your deepest desires with your partner. Your vulnerability with your partner is the best thing you can do to get the most out of your time with your partner in the bedroom. If you and your partner have been having trouble with sex owing to loss of enthusiasm or stress, you can bring back the spark by opening up to your partner. The level of trust between you two will grow manifold, and this will translate to physical intimacy that will strengthen your bond even more.
Physical intimacy is one of the most beautiful ways in which you can express your love to your partner. A lot of things can get in the way of feeling sexy and desirable, but the joy and confidence you can get after shedding your inhibitions can be invaluable for your marriage.