Dealing with Violent Temper Tantrums in Adults

How Not to Lose your Mind Over Adult Tantrums

As a mother, you must’ve handled the tantrums of your children time and again. But have you dealt with adult outbursts? You might find that dealing with temper tantrums in adults can be much more difficult those in children!

You come across a number of people every day. Most of them are practical, reasonable adults. But every now and then, you’re faced with a person who may have grown up physically but still behaves childishly, especially when it comes to facing day-to-day struggles. He or she breaks down and throws tantrums when things don’t go their way. Whether it’s your husband or your best friend throwing a tantrum, just how do you deal with it?

How to Deal With Adult Temper Tantrums Calmly

Don’t ignore a tantrum

Walking away or ignoring the tantrum of a person you love is not a good idea. When you do that, they might feel that you’re judging them or that they aren’t important to you. It could also aggravate their anger.

Be silent and listen

What do you do when you’re faced with adult temper tantrums? Psychologists recommend that you keep quiet and listen to the person till the tantrum passes. Losing your temper and talking back could only worsen the situation. Listening carefully might help you in zeroing in on the underlying problem.

Accept the feelings, not the tantrum

Accept the feelings, not the tantrum

If you feel the need to speak, make sure that you don’t convey anything that hints at you being okay with the tantrum. Tell the person that you understand how he or she might be feeling, but that you don’t appreciate the tantrum and that there’s no need to throw one. The two of you can talk about the issue calmly and like adults.

Comment on the behaviour later

The best way of dealing with temper tantrums in adults is to wait for the storm to pass. Initiate the topic when the other person is much more relaxed and explain how their behaviour hurts you. Don’t expect a miracle right away, but this will give them something to ponder about and hopefully work on.

Asking questions helps

It is a good idea to ask open ended questions rather judging the person. It’ll give you an insight into their feelings and maybe help you understand what makes them blow their top. Listen carefully and try to extend your support.

Work on yourself

Try a little introspection and see what you can do to change yourself. If you’re passive-aggressive, maybe you need to be more outspoken. If you’re short-tempered, maybe you need to learn to calm down.

Get help if you must

You can’t deal with violent adult temper tantrums all by yourself. In such scenarios, you might have to get professional help. In case the person doesn’t agree to meet a professional, ask your friends for help. Staging an intervention of sorts may just help them learn to deal with their anger instead of throwing a tantrum.

Handling angry outbursts is not easy, but with love and affection there’s nothing that can’t be changed. Don’t let tantrums change your feelings for the other person. Your constant and reasonable support could prompt them to change their ways. Till then, just be patient and loving.

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