Marital Abuse and Domestic Violence

Dealing With Domestic Violence in Marriage

Domestic violence and abuse is for the newspapers. It cannot happen to you or your loved ones, right? Wrong! Marital violence is very much a reality today, and the society’s often narrow take on evils like child marriage and dowry only add salt to the injury. On November 25, the International Day For The Elimination Of Violence Against Women 2015, let’s end the contrived silence of women around us and put an end to the suffering of the millions of women behind closed doors.

How to Handle Domestic Violence

Domestic abuse, also called spousal abuse, occurs when one person in the relationship tries to dominate and control the other person. When domestic abuse involves physical abuse and violence, it is called domestic violence.

Signs of an Abusive Relationship

Domestic violence first needs to be identified and understood to protect oneself from it.

1. Does Your Partner

  • Have bad temper and uncontrollable temper?
  • Hit/hurt you physically in any way?
  • Threaten to hurt/kill you/your kids?
  • Threaten to take your children away?
  • Threaten to commit suicide if you leave him?
  • Force you to have sex?
  • Leave you in continual fear about your children?

2. Do You

  • Remain scared of your partner most of the times?
  • Avoid talking about or doing something out of fear of angering your partner?
  • Think you deserve to be beaten or hurt?
  • Think that something is wrong only with you?

If some or all of your answers are ‘Yes’, then you are probably going through abuse and domestic violence.

What Causes Domestic Violence

Prevention of domestic violence can be effective only if women can identify a possible abuser and what causes him to act out violently. Following are some of the causes of domestic violence:

  • Abusers need to control their partner and their actions because of their low-self esteem, extreme jealousy, difficulty in managing their temper or an inferiority complex.
  • Some abusers brought up in patriarchal household who believe they have the right to control their women and that women are beneath men.
  • Most abusers have been brought up brought up witnessing domestic abuse at their homes and think it is a natural thing to do.
  • In some cases, abusers could have been victims themselves.

Surviving Domestic Violence

While there aren’t many ways to stop domestic violence, one can definitely save themselves and their children before things go out of hand. Overcoming domestic violence takes time and a strong support system for the victims.

1. Leave Your Abuser Immediately

Most women hope their partner will change, that he will perhaps become gentler if she did everything correct and are unable to leave them. Unfortunately, there is not enough proof to support that abusers may change. And even if an abuser changes with help from therapy, it is still OK if you want to leave him. Take the children with you and take necessary legal action.

2. Build Yourself a Safe Haven

Find a job suitable for your qualification, open a savings account and surround yourself with family and friends. Confide your troubles with at least 2-3 people and keep them aware of any changes in your situation. This way, you can feel happier and safer. You could also undergo therapy if you feel it is necessary.

3. Move On

As tough as this may seem, eventually you should move on. True you loved the person who hurt you, but always tell yourself that you deserve more than just that. Keep your family close and live your life to the fullest. You are your kids’ strength and you must be strong for them.

Domestic abuse can leave a permanent scar on you and your loved ones if left unchecked. Act now and ensure your happiness in the future.

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