Your child learns everything from you – how you attend to others, how you receive guests, how you wish your near and dear one on occasions – it is as per your dealing that he knows who is a part of your good and bad books. It is but natural to have both good and bad books considering that we are humans…I myself am not entirely good or bad to everyone. All have different chemistry with me.
The Difference in Choice
As siblings, we all argue – even my sister and I have different tastes in clothing. But criticising others’ choices is wrong. If she likes a red floral tee and I don’t, that’s absolutely ok. If she likes it, she should wear it happily. This difference of choice should not be highlighted in front of the kids, as by narrating that statement you are painting one person’s choice as good and the other’s as bad. Please keep in mind that a child can notice your statement and create his own image of the person.
Having cordial relations is more important than being right. If there is any point of difference between you and your spouse or between you and anyone in the family, do not discuss it in front of the kids. Kids tend to remember things out of context and speak later – that can lead to serious problems and misunderstandings. They may repeat the statements in the same tone that you had used, and it becomes embarrassing for both the persons, even though the intention was not to mould the kids that way.
Parents should respect each other’s way of doing things, decisions taken for the kids, and should not use inappropriate words for each other. Everybody has a different way of doing things, and that should be respected.
If someone in the family is scolding your child for doing something wrong – for example, if your child spills water on the floor and someone in the family is telling him not to repeat it, let the person complete their conversation with the kid. Interfering and protecting your child in benign situations may lead to your child repeating the same mistake instead of learning not to do it.
Over-pampering or spoiling your child is also dangerous, as it can put him in a sweet trap. But being strict should also be done within the limit – it should be done just enough so that he learns basic etiquette and does not have behavioural issues.
The agenda is to give a healthy environment to the child.
Please note no one is perfect and no one is wrong – all statements, acts and decisions are situational. If we understand this simple mantra we will have cordial relations in the family and kids will learn the same.
Be grounded to keep your kids grounded, because kids copy their parents perfectly.
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