I met my husband 8 years ago. It was my first job and everything was new to me—the place, the people, and the job too. I met him and he was different in ways I never thought someone could be. Every love story actually starts with hatred first, so yes I didn’t like him when I met him. But he made all the efforts to get closer to me. He made me believe that a person could be injured and hurt but think about the love of his life (the day we met with an accident).
Rest is history. We got married and everything was crazy. We were labelled ‘the crazy couple’. The night outs, the drives, being in the bed on weekends. We were loving it all. We travelled together, partied together, which was the only point of marriage I knew.
Last year, we planned for a baby. It was an amazing feeling and I was so excited when I found out that I was pregnant. I googled everything to know how my baby was growing. I went for regular checkups to make sure that everything was right. But then my husband, who was soon going to be a father, told me that he had decided to leave his IT job and that he would start his own business. I loved the idea and supported him while he was setting up his business. There were days and nights when he didn’t show up and I didn’t say anything because I knew he was busy. But I was pregnant; my hormones were driving me crazy and my husband was driving me crazy by not being around anymore. I hated the feeling but kept smiling through it as I didn’t want to seem unsupportive.
Days passed and my beautiful baby arrived. The first 3 months were extremely difficult. I got no sleep, no tasty food, no long drives, and no good clothes. As your body is weak post pregnancy it makes her feel tired by every second. But time passed and my baby was doing great. I was being the best version of myself (at least I tried to be my 200%). But something was missing. We needed to earn more because we had a baby and were busy all the time. Life was all about phone calls, office, baby, parents, but I lost myself.
I had this weird feeling that maybe I was not being a wife because I was a mother. Was I not important to my husband anymore? He was on calls but those calls were never to me. Was he too busy to not even make a call even after 10 straight hours of not being home? I wanted to ask him if he expected me to be awake late at night waiting for you to be home?
I just want my husband to talk to me because I have forgotten how it was like when you used to be close to me. Tell me this is just a passing phase and you will help me get out from. Save me from this horror of not being your loved one anymore.
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