There are several myths about marriage that society has encouraged people to believe. This often leads to a lot of false expectations and ultimately rocks the marriage boat. Knowing the real truth about this “institution” will help actually have a happily ever after.
If marriage to you is about fairytales, candy floss, and mush, it’s time to burst the bubble on some marriage lies the society has been consistently feeding you. Indeed, we’ve all grown up amidst such idealistic views of love and marriage that it’s almost heart breaking when you realise they are mere halftruths. In reality, marriage, like any other relationship in your life, comes with both cracks and beauty. Some of these truths about matrimony might be unsettling but need to be come to terms with.
The Un-storybook Truths About Marriage
1. The Only Thing Constant is Change
You might have been led to believe that everybody changes (for the better) after marriage. So you marry your almost-perfect man hoping that you’ll set changes in motion. Changes you think will make your partner a better man. What you don’t factor in is that every person is born the way they are and it’s folly to expect them to change. Just like you wouldn’t quit drinking a glass of red wine, he shouldn’t be expected to not go for his boy’s night out every now and then.
2. Agree to Disagree
One of the common myths about marriage is that a perfect marriage has no arguments or disagreements; it’s right out of a passionate romance novel. Actually, there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. What is attainable is an ideal marriage and you can achieve this by being accommodating towards each other. In fact, arguments allow you to be open and equitable in the relationship and respect each other’s views.
3. The Perfect Love Story
Many of us enter into a relationship hoping for the kind of love they show on the silver screen. What we tend to forget is that while on-screen life is guided by directors, playwrights and a zillion takes, we don’t get chances to amend our errors in our real love story! One of the biggest lies about marriage is that the man in your life must be Mr. Right or else it is bound to fail. In reality, you marry the man who is right for you and then work at making everything else right too.
4. A Fairy-tale Romance
If stories about marriage and society are to be believed, then the mere fact that you’ve tied the knot guarantees a happily ever after. Sorry to burst that bubble. Just like a plant needs constant nurturing and attention to grow into a strong tree, so does marriage. You need to be kind to your partner if he snaps because he had a bad day at work, and not lash out instead! Marriage is a practical kind of love and it’s more beautiful because it’s real.
5. Soul mates
It’s quite romantic to believe that the man you married is your soul mate. Thus, he should automatically be in-tune with every feeling you go through and understand things you don’t even speak about. Um, this may not happen as you want. While your partner will of course love you and pay adoring attention to you, not putting your feelings into words in the hope that “he understands” won’t work.
Marriage is a wonderful union of two minds, families and souls. The lies that society tells set unrealistic expectations for the newly wedded couple. In reality once you see past the phoney ideas and the too-grandiose-to-be-true picture, you’ll realise how fulfilling and rewarding marriage can be.