3 Steps to Recovering From Your Husband’s Extramarital Affair
Faith is one of the pillars of a successful married life. But what do you do when your husband shakes the foundation of your marriage to the core by being unfaithful to you? Dealing with your husband’s infidelity may well be one of the most difficult situations you’ll ever have to face. Having said that, don’t make snap judgments in taking extreme steps without giving it time, thought and understanding the repercussions of the decisions you may have to take. Most women have no clue about how to survive a cheating husband primarily because it’s one of those things you tend to think will never happen to you. It’s true that your world will seem like it’s falling apart, after all, this is the person you’ve decided to spend your life with – loved, cared for, the father of your children. But take heart. You’re not the first woman to go through this, and you definitely won’t be the last – and you will emerge stronger than ever.
Productive Ways to Move On After Infidelity
1. Reach out
First things first – it’s really, really important that you get over your initial shock when you stumble upon the ugly truth, and calm yourself down to take stock of the situation. Ideally, try and confide in someone you trust (although you may find that hard seeing as your trust has been broken), but reach out to a friend, sibling or confidante who will be able to take an objective view, without jumping to conclusions.
2. Figure out Your Options
Once you acknowledge the fact that your husband is having an affair, as difficult as it may seem, you need to assess the situation and see if it can be resolved. This is your decision, and yours only, and one that can have far reaching consequences, especially if there are children involved. Take some time out to understand where you’re at, try and talk things out with your husband, to reach a place where you’re fully informed and both aware of what this means. This is the stage when you have to decide whether you can accept his infidelity or not. Many marriages emerge stronger after a partner is caught in an extramarital affair – at times, it’s a wake up call for a marriage in trouble, so don’t count the option of sticking on. Of course, if your husband is unapologetic and basically behaving like he couldn’t care less, your options are limited, and your decision, that much clearer. In the event you and your husband decide to stay together, you may want to seek the help of marriage counselors, who are professionally trained in resolving such situations.
3.Get On With Life
Irrespective of whether you decide to stay or leave, dealing with infidelity is tough, and it’s best to understand that it’s going to be a rough ride for a while at least. That’s the funny thing about trust, it doesn’t really matter, until it’s broken, and 9 times out of 10, the cracks remain even when it’s mended. If your husband is genuinely sorry, you may want to get past your anger and look at where things fell apart. Marriage is a two way street and while many women would find infidelity unforgiveable, there may have been errors on both sides prior to him taking the plunge. Introspect, take your time, and focus on yourself. Find people and friends who will help you through this, and work at regaining your confidence. If you decide to cut your losses and move out, you’ll need support, and you should find it, before you take steps you can’t reverse.
So what Next?
An unfaithful husband can make you feel rejected, humiliated and shattered – it’s natural. Joining a support group may help you move beyond this and get you in touch with other women going through similar situations. If you have children, they can be a source of immense happiness and a place to focus your love and energy. They can also give you the strength needed to overcome your pain. Be patient with yourself, and take your time – they don’t say time heals all for nothing! Things will get better – remember, it’s always darkest before dawn. Good luck!