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Married life isn’t as easy as maidenhood! You face several challenges every day, especially during the initial years and it’s important to learn how to cope with them. However, the marriage lessons you’ll learn in the first year as husband and wife, can be eye-opening.
No matter how many years you went around with your man before marrying him, the first year of marriage is sure to be rocking!! You’ll be surprised to find out things about one another – some good, some bad and some that you never knew. The challenge is to accept the qualities in your partner and keep going despite these new revelations.
10 Things You Would Have Experienced in the First Year of Married Life
1. Learning that men and women think very differently
Ever read ‘Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus’? You’d have accepted the fact that men are very different from women – they think, communicate and react differently. While you may have found fault in a particular thing, your husband may not have. You may have tried to explain many things, but in vain. Maybe you’d decided to sit with him and talk your heart out, but he seemed to be more interested in watching a cricket match! But of course, you’ll be surprised now to find that you’ve been giving him company for all those match nights on TV, while he wants to experiment something that he saw on your favourite recipe channel!
2. Patience pays off
In the first year of marriage, you’d have learned that some of your husband’s habits that you found so endearing are now annoying. And you can’t do anything! Most wives at times let it get to them and turn into nags. But nagging doesn’t bring about any change and will only create tiffs between you. We’re sure you’d have figured out the ‘trick’ – having patience, staying calm and looking for ways to make him understand your point of view!
3. Money management will reveal a lot of things
If you and your husband share similar spending habits, then this won’t be a challenge at all. But if one of you is a complete spendthrift and the other sees every coin as precious, arguments and disagreements would have cropped up! Working out a balance and a budget is crucial so that your joint finances make both of you happy, and are able to accommodate both your needs – not to mention saving up for a rainy day.
4. Dealing with the new family
The in-laws – such an integral element of the Indian marriage that is never restricted to the couple alone! You’re used to dealing with the several different aspects of the change that marriage has brought about, in terms of dealing with pesky new family members, different ideologies and traditions, and dodging your way through tricky personal questions! Of course, not everything that came your way would have made you happy; but you definitely know the dos-and-donts, as well as the tricks of the trade, when it comes to your in-laws!
5. Letting your guard down
Not only has everything gross about you and your partner have been revealed (we’re not talking about all things physical!), but you’ve been completely intimate in terms of sharing things about yourself – your fears, hopes, and dreams. He’s seen you at your worst, you’d have had fights that brought down the house, you may have never considered shaving your body hair a couple of months after the wedding! That’s what makes your marriage so wonderful, isn’t it? Knowing that come hail or snow (or days where you cannot bring yourself to spruce up at all!), you know that your man has seen everything, and loves you still!
6. Coming up with your own language
As much as your husband may not be a mind-reader, you two have texted and talked to each other enough to understand certain things, no matter how unclearly they’re said – or not said, for that matter! A text saying “7.30?” won’t confuse you even if it seems out of context – you’ll know that it means that he’ll pick you up from work at 7.30, after which you’re going out for dinner! You’ll understand every look and visual cue that comes your way, and no one will be able to guess why you both are laughing away while attending a boring family function. It’s just one of those little things that make your relationship feel more special!
7. Communicating helps – a LOT
Among the various lessons learnt in marriage, this one is particularly important. If you have issues with your husband, sort them out. Don’t jump to conclusions about anything and don’t hold grudges before listening to his side of the story. Talk about your day, your hopes, worries and anything and everything else.
8. The need to keep the excitement alive
Don’t let a hectic routine take a toll on your married life. Maintain a balance between your personal and professional lives. Birthdays and anniversaries should be celebrated. Surprise your husband with a little gift every once in a while. Go on the occasional long drive, cook his favourite food and indulge his fantasies to keep the spark alive.
9. Learning to appreciate the best in each other
When your spouse does something wrong, you may have been tempted to point it out. While it’s a general tendency to pick on the faults and shortcomings of others, it doesn’t help anyone, and you’ll know that it’s better to just let the small things go. Instead of pointing out each other’s mistakes, trying to see the good in each other and appreciating it can work wonders.
10. Creating memories for a lifetime
The first year of your marriage marks a lot of firsts, of course. Your first dinner as a married couple that you cooked for him, the first time you go shopping for household items to convert your empty flat into your own sweet nest, meeting with new people and getting introduced as a ‘wife’; there are endless things that you will remember for the years to come and look back on with much love!
Before learning these marriage lessons in life the hard way, turn things around and learn to appreciate the bond you share. The connection between husband and wife is one of the most beautiful relationship, but it still needs to be nurtured. Cherish it enough to work on it and make it last forever.